


MAYBE BABY

by Amanda_Yates



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Canon, Arthur Finds Out, Canon verse, Do read it please I can't tag properly because its 12 o'clock in the night, F/M, M/M, Mpreg Merlin, Oblivious Merlin, Other, Post S3, Protective Arthur
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-22
Updated: 2014-11-18
Packaged: 2018-02-22 05:07:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 23,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2495564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amanda_Yates/pseuds/Amanda_Yates
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur turns to Merlin on one desperate night after Morgana's betrayal and Uther's broken spirit, neither of them knew the far reaching consequences of their single night together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter - 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written after a prompt on Merlin Mpreg, set right after season 3! Oh warnings for MPREG people!!

Chapter - 1

  
Looking back now Merlin thought he should have known things would wind up this way, after all when had anything ever not gone absolutely hairy for him in his life? Especially where Arthur was concerned, Arthur who was now staring at him with a completely gob smacked expression; Merlin had no biting retort for Arthur’s bafflement now as he too was in a similar state of shock, even more so than Arthur.  
  
It all started on one of _‘those’_ days where everything was slow and tiresome and the list of chores sitting on Merlin was taking an inordinate toll on his person.Arthur had been even more of a prat than his usual standards ever since Morgana and Morgause had stolen the throne and then been driven back, and Uther had gone off into this madness than no one was able to bring him out of.  
  
Merlin understood of course that Arthur was under a lot of stress now as Prince Regent and he was trying to keep the broken kingdom together with single minded determination. And Arthur handled the situation admirably well in fact that no one would be able to tell how much of a toll it was taking on him, except Merlin of course who bore the brunt of Arthur’s ill temper, Arthur never cared for how he behaved when he was around Merlin and as a result Merlin had been running ragged with all the impossible things the Prince was asking him to do.  
  
And even still Arthur was not satisfied and in the past week alone Merlin had been sent to the stocks three times, which was a record for him and Merlin had naively thought that Arthur and him were past these petty vindictive execution of Arthur’s status as his master over Merlin.  
  
Merlin kept on cursing as he ascended the winding stairs carefully balancing Arthur’s tray of food in his aching fingers, he’d been polishing shields and chainmail all morning because Arthur the prat had asked him to polish the entire armory’s shields and chainmail that was kept in store and had not seen the daylight in years. His explanation for it was that they might need all the extra equipment now that they were under danger from Morgana and who knows what else at any given time.  
  
And Merlin agreed whole heartedly but for Arthur’s rather cruel intention of making him do it all by himself, all alone and he couldn’t even use his magic because he was too exhausted emotionally and mentally for it to work like a charm. He’d probably make the entire armory float and get himself burnt at the pyre if he did, so he had to do it all by hand and as a result his hands were smarting.  
When Merlin opened the door he was dreading the thought of what other torture Arthur had planned for him for the next day but as he entered it was to see an Arthur who was sitting slumped in his armchair staring rather pensively into the fireplace where a merry fire was burning.  
  
Arthur didn’t even acknowledge Merlin’s presence in the room and Merlin despite himself worried, Arthur had been very broody as off late and though he had enough reasons to be it was still unlike himself to sit slumped and stare without seeing into the fireplace, it disturbed Merlin to see Arthur so.  
  
He cleared his throat and said “Arthur I’ve brought you’re dinner.”  
  
Arthur made no sign that he heard except for nodding his head and Merlin almost left him to it then, thinking back Merlin wondered why he’d been so foolish to be concerned, if he’d not done as he had he would not be in his position right now.  
  
“Arthur….are you alright?”  
  
Arthur scoffed and slumped further in his chair.  
  
“Okayy….stupid question I know….what’s wrong Arthur?”  
  
Arthur finally turned to look at him, with derision he said “What makes you think I’ll tell you Merlin?”  
  
He alteast didn’t deny that something was wrong thought Merlin, Arthur could be stubborn to think everything was right in his world even when it was not all the time until someone made him realize it really wasn’t.  
  
“You’ll tell me because you’re my friend….and you always blab to me anyway….you can’t keep it a secret from me.”  
  
Arthur snorted but there was no humor in it, only weariness, “We’re not friends Merlin” said Arthur firmly and Merlin tried to not let that hurt so much, but by the way his chest tightened almost to the point of it being hard to breathe he didn’t succeed.  
  
Arthur turned back to the fire and Merlin let several minutes pass before going forward and kneeling on the floor next to where Arthur was sat, “Come now” he persuaded gently, knowing Arthur was as sensitive as a hare, “I know it’s killing you to keep it inside….tell me….even if you don’t consider me a friend, I consider you to be mine.”  
  
Arthur kept quiet for a long time, his dark eyes melancholic and staring straight ahead into the fire and just when Merlin thought he wasn’t going to get through Arthur spoke, “They all leave me Merlin….why do they all leave me?”  
  
“Am I such a horrid person Merlin? Do I deserve this bereavement?” Arthur spoke quietly and at the end his voice broke belying how much pain he was in and how much it was costing him to tell Merlin this.  
  
Merlin knew Arthur meant Morgana and spoke, “Arthur…Morgana….I don’t think she was ever hating of you….she hated Uther and you were just in her way to become Queen….”  
  
“I knew her since we were children Merlin; she was already a sister to me….I still think of her so….”  
  
Merlin didn’t know what to say to that, Morgana’s betrayal had broken Merlin’s heart as well and Merlin only knew too well how losing a friend in such a sure way was, how must Arthur feel now knowing she was his half sister, Merlin couldn’t fathom.  
  
“And my father…..he left me too”  
  
Merlin was confused as he knew Uther was still residing inside the castle walls broken by Morgana’s betrayal perhaps but still present.Only as Arthur kept pouring his heart did Merlin understand, “I wasn’t enough for him Merlin….I am his son and I wasn’t enough….I never was….he always favored Morgana and now that she’s gone he’s lost his sanity….he doesn’t think of me as a worthy reason to exist Merlin….somedays he doesn’t even recognize me just keeps muttering Morgana’s name…”  
  
Arthur was silently crying now and Merlin’s heart ached for his prince, this beautiful man whom Merlin had devoted his life for and who was in such pain the likes of which Merlin hadn’t even suspected, and he was supposed to look after Arthur.  
  
“Arthur, you’re father loves you and you have people here who care about you so much Arthur, Gwen, Leon, Gaius…..me” Merlin said the last part quietly, “you’re not alone and you’ll never be because all of us will always be on your side, no matter what….you’ll never loose us, we’ll never leave you.”  
  
Arthur looked up at the ceiling, obvious dismay apparent, “My knights are loyal to me because they have sworn their fealty to the Crown Merlin, Gwen….” Arthur hesitated for a whole minute before saying what he had to say, “she only picked me because Lancelot left her….and you….most of the time you consider to me to be a horrid person Merlin, perhaps I do deserve it….”  
  
Merlin couldn’t quite believe Arthur, brave, noble, bull headed Arthur believed himself to be so unwanted, he’d always acted like he was a gift bestowed by the god’s upon his unworthy subjects that Merlin was stunned that under all of that bluster Arthur had these insecurities about himself, it didn’t suit Arthur and no one had the right to make Arthur feel so.  
  
His actions next were fuelled by raw emotion at the wrongness of Arthur feeling this way and Merlin looked startled only after he’d grabbed Arthur’s face in his hands, his sore hands resting on the Prince’s cheeks making Arthur look into his eyes, but he braved on despite the sudden flutter of his heart and a queasy feeling in his stomach. “Arthur I don’t know how you’ve deluded yourself into believing all of this, Gwen chose you over Lancelot because she loves you, you’re knights choose to follow you because they love you, I choose to be you’re servant till the day I die because I love you…”  
  
Merlin didn’t quite realize what he’d let loose in the heat of the moment but only when Arthur’s eyes widened did Merlin fear for himself, he’d never meant to say that out loud to Arthur, never in a million years, his unrequited feelings for the golden haired Prince was a deeply guarded secret no one but he knew and before he could retrace his statement and not make it so passionate Arthur’s hands closed around his and Arthur asked with doubt, “Do you really mean it?”  
  
Arthur’s eyes were boring into his with a vulnerability Merlin had hardly ever been privy to and Merlin knew that he couldn’t deny Arthur the truth now, not when Arthur was looking at him like his life depended upon Merlin’s answer, Merlin closed his eyes praying for Arthur to not hate him for this as he said “Yes Arthur….I do love you” Merlin opened his eyes and licked his lips and Arthur’s eyes were immediately drawn to the movement and before Merlin could think Arthur’s lips were upon his.  
  
Despite the many number of times Merlin had imagined this happening Merlin couldn’t quite believe that it was happening, Arthur was kissing him, kissing Merlin, willingly and of his own accord, Merlin had never thought he’d get to have this in a million years. In his state of shock he’d remained numb and unresponsive and Arthur drew back already looking doubtful and angry and before he could open his mouth and ruin the moment Merlin drew Arthur close by his neck and kissed him again.  
  
Arthur let out a grunt in surprise before he slid his lips with Merlin’s chaste and gentle in a way Merlin never thought Arthur’s kisses would be. Merlin had expected Arthur to kiss with wild passion, to dip in and take what he wanted with a single minded focus Merlin saw in how he fought but Arthur was a passionate lover and he was languid in exploring Merlin’s mouth, like he was tasting ambrosia and he wanted to make it last.  
  
Merlin didn’t know when or how they got to the bed and then he was naked and Arthur was kissing every inch of his skin making lust burn hot in Merlin’s veins and making his toes curl in pleasure as Arthur took his cock in his sword callused hands and began to stroke.

  
The first time Arthur slid his cock into Merlin, Merlin thought he was going to die from the pain of being split apart so thoroughly but Arthur gentled him hushing him and speaking an incoherent jumble of sweet nothings into Merlin’s ears until Merlin finally relaxed around Arthur and Arthur moved. They came too fast, neither of them lasting long.  
  
The second time was better as Arthur had Merlin on his hands and knees in the sumptuous bed and took position behind Merlin, he was hitting straight into a bundle of something inside Merlin that made Merlin incoherent with pleasure and mewl wantonly to Arthur. Arthur draped himself over Merlin’s back, took Merlin’s ears between his teeth and nibbled on them saying “So eager for me Merlin…so tight…fuck!”  
  
Arthur spilled himself inside Merlin after a long while, Merlin’s insides felt thoroughly bruised and when Arthur pulled out his asshole clinged to Arthur’s cock making a squelching sound as Arthur pulled out which made Merlin blush and bury his head into the pillows in mortification.  
  
What absolutely made Merlin cringe though was when Arthur raised him up back onto his hands and knees and parted his cheeks observing his puffed red whole making Merlin try to close his thighs in shame but Arthur slapped his arse and drew a finger down and over his opening slicking his fingers in the come that dribbled out of Merlin.  
  
“Arthurr…” Merlin squeaked as Arthur put his mouth on his whole then and rimmed him pushing his tongue in and out and making Merlin squirm in desperate mortification and desperate lust.  
  
They’d exhausted themselves after that and they both fell asleep for awhile before Arthur got Merlin up with his mouth latched onto Merlin’s flat nipples.  
  
The third time was when Merlin witnessed Arthur’s absolute passion, his carnal urges were so overwhelming that Merlin felt like he was being mounted rather than made love to.  
  
Arthur made him ride his cock looking into Merlin’s eyes the whole time as he grabbed Merlin’s hips and brought them down again and again, and once he couldn’t take the slow pace anymore Arthur flipped them while still inside him and when Merlin was flat on his back he wasn’t even given a moment to breathe before Arthur thrust inside in a brutal, hard and fast pace making Merlin move up with the force of his thrusts and Merlin could only open his mouth and utter “Ahh….ahh….Arrrthur…..Arthur….ahh….”  
  
Arthur came inside him with a shout for the final time on that night before both of them slipped off into slumber again.  
  
At present Merlin blushed with the recollections of their one and only ill fated night together and noticed Arthur looking at him like he knew what he was thinking about. He then remembered Gaius’ diagnosis and the predicament he was in.  
  
He glared at Arthur making Arthur’s eyes widen in alarm before Merlin screamed “THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT YOU PRAT!”  
Merlin didn’t wait for Arthur to regain his bearings as he rushed past Gaius, Arthur and Gwaine and into his room shutting the door with a loud bang.  
  
Inside the room and on his own now Merlin started to cry in earnest remembering how the morning after had been.  
  
Merlin was curled up cozily in a mountain of blankets and a soft bed that felt like he’d laid on clouds and Merlin sighed wondering if he’d died and gone to heaven, this was pure bliss.  
  
Only as he awakened did he feel the various places in which his body was sore and then he woke up properly and sat up in a hurry as he remembered everything that had happened last night.  
  
Arthur was already up and dressed and he was breaking his fast rather calmly, Merlin felt awkward like he’d never felt before in front of Arthur and wondered what he ought to do now.  
  
“Merlin, finally decided to wake up, did you?” asked Arthur with a pinched expression on his face. Merlin’s stomach plummeted at the tone of Arthur’s voice and he blushed shamefully as he got outside the bedding and pulled on his clothes which were scattered on the floor, Arthur was resolutely averting his eyes from Merlin the whole time and Merlin felt tears pool in his eyes despite knowing this was what would happen if he’d capitulate to his own desires, what had Merlin expected really? For Arthur to grant him a loving kiss? Perhaps he had thought that foolishly and boy did it smart now knowing Arthur was disgusted with him enough to not even cast a glance at him?

  
Merlin did not think he could hear whatever vitriol Arthur no doubt wanted to spout at him now so he made to escape the room but Arthur’s voice stopped him at the threshold.  
  
“No one can know what happened here Merlin…”  
  
When Merlin turned to look at Arthur his eyes were hard and his tone held a warning, “Last night….was a mistake….one that shall never be repeated and never be spoken of, do you understand Merlin?”  
  
And Merlin wondered for the first time feeling his heart break into tiny million pieces how he’d ever ever fallen for this arrogant cold man and why he kept dedicating his magic and his love for Arthur, “I understand” Merlin said just as coldly, proud of himself for appearing so calm when he was shattering inside and finally left Arthur’s presence, he couldn’t bear to look at Arthur for even a moment longer.  
  
What he didn’t know was that just as soon as Merlin left Arthur stood up from his chair sending it skittering to a far corner in the force of his anger, he upended the table knowing it would be awhile before Merlin willingly entered his chambers.  
  
Merlin couldn’t know, Merlin could never know how much it cost Arthur to say those things to him, he couldn’t know how much Arthur was ripping his own heart as he broke Merlin’s.  
  
Needless to say Arthur and Merlin had both given the other a wide berth the following weeks neither wanting to be in the other’s presence.

  
Until the Knights; Gwen and Gaius noticed and started needling them both for answers, they had never been in a tizzy for so long before and all of them wondered what could have happened to break their legendary bond that everyone in Camelot were a bit envious of.

  
Not being able to withstand their scrutiny Merlin resumed his duties for Arthur and Arthur made sure to act atleast civil in Merlin’s presence, they had lost their easy camaraderie and banter though which both of them moaned the loss of.  
  
And if Merlin was all Arthur could think about in the dead of the night when he was all alone in his room and remembering his one fevered night with Merlin then nobody was the wiser.  
  
Gwen knew something was up with them though, even if both of them denied anything ever happening other than a massive fight, she knew how men who fought acted and that was not the way in which Arthur and Merlin were behaving.  
  
If a fight was what had happened Arthur would have dragged Merlin into a headlock making Merlin break his silence or even painfully apologized in his own way of apologizing without apologizing and Merlin being the big sweet heart that he was would have forgiven Arthur with a tiny smile of the gravely put upon.  
  
Rather Arthur was being very careful to never touch Merlin these days when Gwen was accustomed to seeing Arthur rough house Merlin and grab him all time of the day before.  
  
And Merlin had this frown and pinched eyebrows whenever he had to be near Arthur, neither meeting the other’s eyes as Merlin seemed to want to be anywhere but near Arthur and ran off as soon as he was finished getting Arthur’s chainmail on him. He wasn’t even sitting on the sidelines to watch the Knight’s practice anymore and that was when Gwaine was alarmed, Merlin loved to see the knights practice and something that was keeping him from being there must be serious indeed and Gwaine cast Arthur a suspicious look before deciding to confront him later on.  
  
“Princess, what did you do to him?” Gwaine was in Arthur’s face as soon as Arthur was in the armory and out of the other knights’ presence, Arthur had to find a new sword since Merlin had neglected to polish his usual one and it had begun to rust.  
  
Arthur knew very well what Gwaine meant but then he goaded, “Am I supposed to know what you mean by that Gwaine?”  
  
“Don’t you dare! You know very well what I mean, what did you do to Merlin?” asked Gwaine grabbing Arthur by his shirt with rage in his eyes.  
  
Arthur shrugged out of his hold and spat, “I did nothing to him, and be careful about handling me in such a manner Sir Gwaine, I am your sovereign.”  
  
“The hell you are!” Gwaine screeched before he marched out of the armory leaving Arthur behind. Arthur rubbed his temples in annoyance before going out to start the Knight’s drills and found Gwaine missing, he’d probably run off to see Merlin thought Arthur and if he was particularly vicious throughout practice that day nobody had the guts to comment on it.  
  
Arthur and Merlin would have gone on ignoring each other and acting all out of sorts except Merlin started to sicken and Arthur was finally letting his worry for Merlin guide his actions and he couldn’t be standoffish to Merlin anymore even if he wanted to.  
  
Arthur noticed it when Merlin brought his breakfast one morning and placed it on the table before immediately rushing off and emptying his guts in Arthur’s washbowl, he kept retching even when there was nothing to vomit anymore and Arthur felt a tug towards Merlin and before he could think of it he’d rushed to where Merlin was slumped and put his arms around him.  
  
Merlin was delirious enough to let Arthur guide him to sit down but once he was sitting he slapped Arthur’s hands away and put his hands to his temples rubbing lightly.  
  
Arthur tried not to let Merlin’s actions hurt too much and said “Are you sick? Do you need Gaius?”  
  
Merlin looked up at Arthur with his blue eyes and Arthur was transfixed for a moment that he didn’t hear what had been said.  
He said “What?” like a raving simpleton and Merlin cast him a scathing look before saying, “Gaius already gave me a tonic, he thinks it’s a stomach bug.”  
  
“Right, go to your rooms then….rest the day” said Arthur knowing how uncharacteristic of him it was to let Merlin off so easily, even if he was sick.  
  
And Merlin’s incredulous look was apt as he asked “You’re giving me a day off?”  
  
Arthur turned away from him and then said “Yes Merlin….now go…”  
  
“Hmm” Merlin huffed and Arthur turned back to see him rise from the chair, “I forgot you couldn’t stand the sight of me these days, anything to get me out of your hair eh?” Merlin’s tone was dry and sarcastic and Arthur began to protest only Merlin got a chagrined look in his eyes before he retched again right on Arthur’s floor.  
  
Arthur had to lead Merlin to Gaius rooms with an arm around Merlin because he was that disoriented and in danger of falling otherwise. It was the first time he’d been this close to Merlin ever since that night and even though he worried, Arthur’s heart sang in joy at the closeness of Merlin’s body to his.  
  
As the week progressed Merlin didn’t get better and instead his sickness seemed to take a strong hold of him as he lost what little weight he had and his eyes appeared baggy, his cheekbones stark and his complexion paler than ever. In the last few days Merlin had been throwing everything up that he’d taken to just drinking water and milk and had a difficulty keeping even them down.  
  
Everyone was worried about Merlin and he had regular visitors in his rooms with Gaius as Arthur had forbidden him from doing any real work about the second time he’d puked right onto Arthur, Merlin had been mortified and sure Arthur was going to either hit him or push him away in revulsion but instead Arthur had looked scared and concerned and not even minded about the vomit on him and it was all making Merlin confused and annoyed with the Prince of Camelot, why could Arthur never behave in a consistent manner? Would it kill him to respect Merlin’s heart once in a while?  
  
And Merlin was sick of always having to vomit, his mouth tasted foul, his breath was rank and he felt completely miserable. No amount of medicines Gaius gave him seemed to make a difference and after a whole week of going through the ordeal Merlin was thoroughly exhausted.  
  
Arthur, Merlin didn’t know whether it was out of misplaced guilt kept bringing him the finest foods in the castle’s kitchens making Merlin eat atleast some delicacy every day which Merlin vomited out right after anyway, it seemed to make Arthur even more guiltier when ultimately Merlin did puke it out but he wouldn’t give up trying to feed Merlin anyway, in a way Merlin was touched that Arthur still cared about him so.

  
Merlin tried to heal himself with magic but his magic could find nothing wrong with him and didn’t feel like it had to heal him, according to his magic he was as right as rain and didn’t it stung that his magic also seemed to be malfunctioning in ways it hadn’t since his childhood, his magic had always healed his injuries and sickness and now it was failing him.  
  
Merlin was crying when Gwaine entered his rooms one day and he’d grabbed onto a concerned Gwaine and started sobbing his heart out without even a proper reason.  
  
Gwaine held him close and comforted him smoothing his hands down Merlin’s back and petting his hair and that was the sight that greeted Arthur when he entered Merlin’s room.  
  
Arthur fisted his hands wanting to scream in rage, how dare Gwaine touch Merlin like this and how could Merlin let him. Arthur felt betrayed and jealous and he shouted “Just what the hell do you think you’re doing?”  
  
Gwaine looked up from where he was hugging Merlin and shrugged, “He was crying when I came in so I comforted him.” There was not the slightest shame in Gwaine’s voice and Merlin didn’t even raise his head from where he’d buried it in Gwaine’s neck.  
  
“Merlin” Arthur’s tone was icy calm as he besieged Merlin to let go of Gwaine this instant or Arthur was going to rip him away forcefully if need be.

  
Merlin looked up at Arthur finally although he was still sitting rather close to Gwaine on his small bed and Arthur was not pleased with the sight, “WHAT?” Merlin’s tone was catty even though his eyes were puffy and red from crying.  
  
Arthur floundered at the annoyance in Merlin’s countenance while his chest ached at the sight of Merlin’s red eyes.  
  
“What do you want now? I’m not going to eat anything if that’s why you’re here!”  
  
“I’m not here to force you to eat”  
  
“Then what?”  
  
Merlin was outright glaring at Arthur now and Arthur bristled, “Some people Merlin would be grateful that the Prince is concerned for their health”  
  
“Bugger off Arthur…” Merlin stated flippantly and Arthur was shocked into stunned silence at the malice he felt behind those words. Merlin had always back answered, he’d been a red cheeked sass from the beginning but he’d never ever spoken to Arthur in quite a daring fashion before.  
  
“ _What has gotten into you?_ ” shouted Arthur not caring now whether he’d upset Merlin further or not.  
  
“LEAVE ME ALONE!”  
  
“Can’t you seem I’m just worried about you?”  
  
“AH! Now you’re worried because I maybe about to die! You don’t give a bloody damn except for when I’m close to death’s door, I’m so fucking honored!” Merlin screamed and Arthur took a step back at the force of Merlin’s anger.  
  
“Merlin…don’t…you’re not going to die Merlin…” it was Gwaine’s soft voice that broke the tension and Arthur was too stunned to be irate when Gwaine put his hands on Merlin’s shoulder and all the anger seemed to drain out of Merlin all at once and he put his head in his hands sobbing again.  
  
Neither Gwaine nor Arthur could comfort him as Merlin kept pushing them both away when they tried to go near him. Gwaine shot Arthur a glare murmuring ‘fix this’ into his ears before he got off the bed and out of Merlin’s room.  
  
Arthur approached Merlin cautiously, he was still hiding his face behind his hands and still sobbing, Arthur carefully enclosed him in his arms and held tight when Merlin protested feebly. Arthur held Merlin that night until the sobs died down and Merlin was calmly drawing circles on Arthur’s back with his fingers and finally drifted off to sleep.   
  
That night Arthur could not sleep as he pondered on Merlin’s condition, it was very strange that Merlin was crying one minute and then completely angry the next, and then he’d been crying again and then he’d been as calm as a sleeping babe even letting Arthur hold him after he’d stopped crying, not that Arthur was complaining about that and most strangely Merlin had smiled at Arthur, one of his goofy face splitting grins before he’d gone off to sleep still smiling and content as a lazy kitten in the sun.  
  
And Arthur had been under the impression that Merlin didn’t want to see hair or hide of Arthur until then, it may be true still but this mercurial change of moods was unlike Merlin.  
  
Arthur had never seen Merlin so bereft and crying openly, even on that one occasion where he did cry it was silently before they’d gone off to face the dragon and Arthur had told him no man was worth his tears, looking back now Arthur understood it to be a foolish statement.  
  
Now Arthur might call Merlin a great girl but he’d never actually meant it in anything but jest, Arthur knew Merlin was one of the bravest man he’d ever met, he was braver than some of Arthur’s knights. Arthur had only ever seen these kind of mood changes in Lady Eleanor when she’d been pregnant with her twins, being the wife of an important Lord she’d driven everyone batty with her crazy mood swings when Arthur was all of seventeen.  
  
On one memorable day Morgana having reached the end of her patience had told Lady Eleanor to ‘stop being such a bitch’ in the exact same words and that had made Lady Eleanor burst out crying so frantically that even Morgana who’d inflicted the damage apologized to her after Uther’s stringent glaring. Not a half a candle mark later Lady Eleanor was happily laughing with her husband about some joke he’d cracked about the venison not being to his tastes.  
  
Arthur smiled thinking of the memory fondly before his mind came into an abrupt and halting revelation, he had slept with Merlin, he had slept with Merlin and emptied himself inside Merlin for three times that night, Merlin was sicking up everything he ate and acting strangely and Arthur sat up in bed shaking his head and slapping his forehead at his sheer stupidity.  
  
‘Of course it cannot be, _it was ridiculous_ even to entertain the thought….because Merlin couldn’t be…he was a he for god’s sake and Arthur was dishonoring Merlin in thinking so’  
  
But the uncomfortable revelation would not go out of his mind and Arthur from then on observed Merlin very closely when Merlin was near him.  
  
Merlin had stubbornly declared that he’d be working saying that he was going to go mad if Arthur forbade him from going out any longer, he was tired of staying cooped up inside the castle all day long.  
  
As a result Arthur made sure to give him chores that were light and which Merlin could do under Arthur’s observation. And at other times Arthur could trust Gwaine and Lancelot to keep an eye on Merlin as he’d asked them to.  
  
Arthur bade the person knocking on his door to enter and saw it was Gwen; he smiled genuinely pleased to see her and asked her to sit down.  
  
Gwen did and then began to twiddle her thumbs which Arthur knew was a classic sign that she was anxious.  
  
Arthur stopped her by pulling her hands into his, “What is it Guinevere?”  
  
Gwen looked at him in consternation before asking “Are we….” She sighed and then seemed to make up her mind, “Are we still….or are we over Arthur?”  
  
Arthur drew back feeling like he’d been slapped, “Of course we’re not over Guinevere, what gave you that idea?”  
  
Gwen looked at him in something akin to pity and said “Arthur, we haven’t had a proper conversation in a month….and when we do talk it’s always about Merlin…”  
  
Arthur’s brows pulled together as he pondered on Gwen’s words and found them to be true, now it was turn to look in consternation at Gwen who seemed to struggle to keep her tears at bay.  
  
“Oh Arthur…” Gwen put her hands on her head and said “I always knew he was special to you….but I thought….I thought….you loved me more…”  
  
“I do love you more” said Arthur immediately, and even he wasn’t convinced with his answer.  
  
Gwen shot him a shrewd glare and Arthur cowered as he’d never been party to that particular look from her in years, it always made him feel like a naughty child.  
  
“It’s not right for either of us to deceive ourselves Arthur….”  
  
“Camelot needs a Queen Gwen and even if it were that he held my affections…”  
  
Gwen raised her hands and Arthur fell silent, “I need a man whose heart belongs to me Arthur…I think I deserve it, you’ll just have to look for another to be your Queen.”  
  
With that Gwen got up and left Arthur alone.  
  
Arthur moped for no more than two days before thoughts and worries about Merlin started plaguing him again and he no longer held any bitterness for Gwen having broken things off with him. It was obvious to Arthur now that he was head over heels in love with his manservant and he had been for many years and the unlikely cause of his sickness kept on nagging at Arthur’s mind though he was loathe to give it voice. He kept reminding himself he’d be thought an utter idiot for even entertaining the thought and made his thoughts silent.  
  
Merlin had fainted when he’d been observing the Knight’s drills that morning and Gaius was beside himself with worry for his ward. Arthur had to carry him upstairs bridal style for the whole of Camelot’s servants and Knights to see. Gwaine, Lancelot and Percival had offered of course but Arthur had scowled and said no resolutely.  
  
Lancelot looked mildly disapproving at Arthur while Gwaine smirked and gave both Arthur and Merlin a speculative glance. Percival bless him was silent and let Arthur be for which he was Arthur’s most favorite knight at the moment.  
  
Gaius woke Merlin up with some sort of pungent fumes kept close to his nose and Merlin coughed as he woke up and batted away the offending thing saying “WHAT IS THAT?” in as scornful a tone as he could muster.  
  
Arthur snorted and ruffled Merlin’s hair as he was standing close by, he couldn’t help himself, he longed to constantly touch Merlin these days. “You fainted on the practice field you great girl!”  
  
“What?” asked Merlin still miffed at the smokes being used on him.  
  
Arthur shook his head, “Rest Merlin and don’t get up to any mischief, atleast for the sake of Gaius’ sanity” Arthur murmured the last part so only Merlin could hear it and Merlin observed Gaius from where he was laid on the examination table, the Court Physician was going through some ancient tome with a frowning face, his worry for Merlin had increased ten fold as the sickness didn’t abate and Merlin felt guilty for being so taxing on his old mentor.  
  
Uther was surprisingly coherent and happy when Arthur went to visit him in the evening one day. Gwen had been avoiding Arthur ever since their confrontation and Arthur had asked one of the castle’s trusted servants to take care of Uther.  
  
And since they’d had a good talk like son and father which they’d never had enough of when Arthur was a child or even now Arthur decided to broach the subject his father wasn’t very fond of talking about, somehow his thoughts about Merlin being with child would not go away and out of his head so it came to him to ask about his own mother, “Father, what was my mother like when she was with child?”

  
Uther looked stunned that he’d asked that of all things for a minute before he sighed. Arthur thought he was going to get a refusal like always but then Uther said “She was very agitated actually….though she was happy to be with child it was hard on her body…..”  
  
“She sang to you when you were in her womb….” Arthur’s eyes shined with unshed tears as Uther quietly spoke about Ygraine, “She’d retch for hours for the first three months….could stomach nothing…even the smell of wine made her retch….the only thing she could keep down were biscuits, and after that she ate just about everything she could get her hands on….she called you Arthur ever since the day she felt you move inside her…..there could be no other name fit for her babe she said…”  
  
“Oh and her moods were mercurial, she’d be so happy one moment filling the room with her bright laughter and burst into tears the next…..one time I had the audacity to laugh and she bit me off quite soundly…” Uther said it in amusement and looked rueful.

  
And then he turned to Arthur looked him straight and said “Nothing is more scarier than a pregnant woman Arthur, especially if you’re the one who got them pregnant in the first place.”  
  
Arthur chucked along with Uther and they had dinner together before Arthur retired to his chambers bidding his father a good night.

  
Arthur may not give voice to his thoughts but the next day he crept up to Merlin’s room with a tray filled with various biscuits and knick knacks he’d selected from the kitchens himself.  
  
Arthur gave Gaius a brisk nod, Gaius was used to Arthur bringing Merlin food and waved him off and Arthur knocked before entering Merlin’s room without waiting for Merlin’s permission.  
  
Arthur almost dropped the tray in shock when he found Merlin lying on his bed without a shirt on, his pale chest smattered with very light hair glowing in the morning light.  
  
Arthur cleared his throat and said “Get decent Merlin”  
  
Merlin only huffed and said “My chest is sore, I’m not wearing a shirt to please you, if you’re disgusted you know where the door is!”

  
Arthur looked at Merlin’s exposed chest and mid-section carefully and Arthur didn’t know if he was imagining it or not but Merlin’s stomach appeared rounder and protruding than the rest of his body which was all bones and skin what with his recent inability to digest anything.

  
And Merlin had said his chest was sore, as the days drew by Arthur couldn’t help but think his conclusions as insane as they were could be right eventhough it was beyond unlikely.  
  
“Here I brought you this….try and see if you can keep these down…”  
  
Merlin glanced at the tray from his bed and frowned “They’re biscuits Arthur”  
  
“Yes Merlin, I happen to know, now stop stating the obvious and eat them.”  
  
“I don’t want them, I hate biscuits.”  
  
“Merlin” Arthur said warningly, he’d feed Merlin by his hand if he had to, Merlin couldn’t keep going on without nourishment, if Arthur’s conclusion was remotely possible Arthur didn’t want to think about the thought of Merlin having starved himself while he was….well that didn’t bear thinking about.  
  
However he knew forcing Merlin would only make him difficult and he tried to make his tone less ordering as he pleaded, “Come on Merlin….the cook recommended them when I told her you couldn’t keep anything down…..everyone is worried about you….just try and eat atleast a little…”  
  
Merlin looked at him then and relented sitting up and letting Arthur place the tray in front of him, he took one of the biscuits in his hand, gave it a nasty look like it had done something to offend him by just existing and then took a bite.  
  
Slowly but surely Merlin finished the entire plate and miraculously he didn’t seem to want to throw up, Arthur smiled at Merlin’s recovering apatite having finally done something right though this did mean he had to talk to Gaius. So far Merlin seemed to be entirely oblivious to what might be the cause for his sickness and Arthur dreaded putting the possibility of it into Gaius’ mind, but if he were right then it was better for all of them to know for sure.  
  
That night Arthur confided to Gaius about his doubts and also about the night he’d shared with Merlin, to say Gaius looked absolutely angry with Arthur would be an understatement. Merlin was like a son to Gaius and the thought that Arthur had well…gone and buggered him silly, so much so that Merlin’s symptoms sounded entirely too close to pregnancy made Gaius come down upon him in his anger like never before and Arthur had left feeling chastened and berated.  
  
And since Gwaine and Lancelot who were knights Merlin was very close to were worried to the bone about him as well Arthur shared his thoughts with them too.  
  
Lancelot looked astonished and then said “I suppose it’s not such a farfetched thing sire, not where Merlin is concerned.”  
Arthur just thought he meant Merlin’s particular peculiarity, Gwaine looked cagey but didn’t say anything except, “I knew you’d buggered him princess….you could tone down the jealousy though…it’s not like we’re going to steal him from you.”  
  
“Oh really?” Arthur’s tone was dry.  
  
“I didn’t mean me of course…”  
  
“You do know I’ll run you through if you ever try though right?” asked Arthur and he was not even kidding.  
  
Gwaine put his hands up in surrender saying “You’ve claimed your territory quite without a doubt sire, but if you do break Merlin’s heart I will break your bones…slowly and cruelly….”  
  
Lancelot butted in with, “I’m not sure Arthur’s going to escape Merlin’s wrath when Gaius tells Merlin.”  
  
Lancelot and Gwaine now joined to taunt Arthur as Arthur gulped despite himself, he was dreading Merlin’s reaction after all, it wasn’t everyday you got your manservant who was a man pregnant, and Arthur was sure that was what it was now though Gaius had said that he had to do some basic tests to be sure.  
  
The next morning dawned and Arthur as was customary now had his breakfast and brought Merlin his tray of biscuits from the kitchen. Gaius and Arthur had decided it was best to let Merlin finish his breakfast before they told him of their suspicions. Both of them knew Merlin would be inconsolable if it turned out that he was indeed pregnant.  
  
Gwaine came by when Merlin was finished eating and Gaius called Merlin down.  
  
“Hai Gwaine…how are you doing?”  
  
“I’m fine Merlin, how are you?” asked Gwaine, it had been about two days since Gwaine last saw Merlin.  
  
“I’m good; these biscuits Arthur brings are actually not making me throw up which is great.” Merlin said smiling and the three of them held their collective breaths for when they’d have to burst Merlin’s happy little bubble of ignorance.  
  
“Come Merlin and lie down here” Gaius said pointing to the examination table, Gaius’ tone was short and sharp and Merlin hastened to obey not wanting to irritate his mentor further though he looked bewildered, Arthur winced wondering if Gaius was unhappy with Merlin for having let Arthur have his wicked way with him, atleast he was assigning blame on both of them thought Arthur despairingly.

  
Gaius rolled up Merlin’s shirt and put his ear to Merlin’s navel, “Aww…Gaius…” Merlin giggled, “That tickles….stop…”  
  
“Hush Merlin, I’m trying to make a diagnosis.”  
  
“So you actually have an idea of what’s happening to me now?”  
  
“Yes now shut up!” Gaius’ tone was sharp and Merlin looked miserable, his lower lip trembling in a sign that said he wanted to cry but was controlling himself.  
  
Arthur couldn’t stop himself from saying “Leave him out of this Gaius, you’re quarrel is with me!”  
  
Merlin opened his mouth again but thought better of it and closed it and Arthur seeing the obvious distress he was in couldn’t help but go nearer, he ran his fingers through Merlin’s hair and Merlin sighed smiling up at him, Arthur smiled back wondering when he’d become such a sap.  
  
Gaius found some metal instrument which looked like a funnel and put it to Merlin’s abdomen, his sharp intake of breath was all the confirmation Arthur needed but then Gaius took Merlin inside his rooms leaving out Gwaine and Arthur in the physician’s chambers.

  
After what seemed like hours to Arthur, Gaius came down with a Merlin who was blushing quite heavily resembling a tomato and Arthur prodded “Well?”  
  
Gaius rolled his eyes and then said looking at Merlin “My diagnosis Merlin is that you are pregnant.”  
  
Merlin didn’t look amused, “WHAT?”  
  
Gaius gave him a pointed look, “Since you were stupid enough to let Arthur take you without protection or even having the sense to not take his seed….”  
  
“Gaius!” Arthur’s tone was warning, he could only let Gaius take such privileges with Merlin for so long, he could see the whole situation was making Merlin distressed and all he wanted was to hold Merlin in his arms.  
  
“But….I’m a man, are you….why are you saying such things? It’s not possible! IT’S INSANE!”  
  
Gaius finally turned sympathetic and held Merlin’s eyes, “I’m afraid you are Merlin….”  
  
Arthur had been prepared of course to hear it but even he had that niggling doubt that it was not possible.  
  
Merlin turned to him saying “Arthur….Arthur…you don’t believe this, do you?”  
  
Merlin looked at him with such hope that Arthur had to turn away.  
  
“Gwaine?”  
  
Gwaine looked at his feet before saying as gently as he could, “I believe Gaius Merlin…”  
  
Merlin blushed with the recollections of their one and only ill fated night together and noticed Arthur looking at him like he knew what he was thinking about. He then remembered Gaius’ diagnosis and the predicament he was in.  
  
Merlin glared and balled his fists and before Arthur could try and placate him he screamed “THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!” before rushing past them all and into his room, slamming the door shut in their faces.  
  
Arthur heard Merlin’s sobs through the door and felt himself move but Gwaine held him back.  
  
“Give him time princess”  
  
Arthur didn’t protest and walked out of Gaius’ rooms as quickly as his feet would allow him and through the entire way his mind was protesting that he’d left Merlin in distress when he was carrying Arthur’s child.


	2. Chapter - 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Arthur finds out about the magic, bit angsty at the end folks!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aand, thankyou to everyone who has taken the time to leave kudos and comments, love you much <3 Amanda...:) :)

_**Chapter - 2** _

Arthur gave Merlin _‘time’_ for two days before Gaius came on the second night to inform him that Merlin was not even letting his old mentor in to see him in two long days. He’d barricaded himself in his room effectively it seemed and wasn’t even eating.  
  
Arthur was furious and it required the collective efforts of Gaius, Gwaine and Lancelot to stay him for that night.  
  
Merlin on the other hand had barred the door with magic as soon as he’d become coherent enough for actions and then lost himself to the despair that consumed him.Why did all these things always happen to him? At first he’d been furious and disbelieving and muttered his revelation spell only to find the life taking form in his body.After that he’d did it another twenty times before he’d been convinced by the heart beat of the child inside him drumming in his ears like horrid thunder. He couldn’t even bring himself to think of destroying it, it would be easy of course with his magic, he could crush the child’s life inside him as surely as he’d felled harmful sorcerers aiming for Arthur’s life.  
  
But all he could feel at even the thought of that was a horrible wrongness and eventhough he hated being in this situation he could not, he could never destroy it.  
  
The first day he didn’t give a thought to anyone else as he wallowed in the supreme shame and rage at his predicament. He’d managed to fall asleep after exhausting himself with his tears and then the second day he’d arisen with the nausea and it all came crashing back so quickly he had to take a deep breath for a moment to calm himself and not bring the castle down around him with the force of his magic.  
  
Then there came the fear, what if Arthur suspected now? Merlin couldn’t fathom how he would explain his condition to Arthur, he couldn’t fool Arthur now with a half arsed lie like always, did Arthur suspect him of using magic to get pregnant? Was he going to be thrown into the dungeons as soon as he deigned to open the door? His worries grew as the day progressed and there was no sign of Arthur having set the royal guards on his person. Gaius came knocking three times but Merlin refused to open the door not wanting to see his mentor now. Merlin knew from Gaius’ irritated tone with him the other day that his mentor was not very happy with him at the moment, and the last thing Merlin wanted to face today was Gaius’ disappointment in him.  
  
The third day there were heavy footfalls an hour after Merlin woke up and the door opened with a bang. There was no time for him to wonder why his magic had failed him as Arthur was standing in the doorway with a thunderous expression on his face. Was he going to receive the special treatment of Arthur escorting him to the dungeons because of his lies?  
  
Merlin gulped in fear as Arthur stood there, and he looked very very angry.  
  
Merlin shrank back and made to move on his small cot as Arthur advanced but before he could topple off and fall on his back Arthur caught him tightly by the arms and shook him fiercely.  
  
“What the hell Merlin?” Arthur screamed and Merlin had tears in his eyes and couldn’t get any words out if he could help it.  
  
Strangely to Merlin Arthur’s eyes softened and he relaxed his grip on Merlin but held his gaze, Merlin averted his eyes too scared by the intensity of those eyes looking at him like Arthur knew every little secret Merlin carried.  
  
Arthur left him alone then and started pacing the room angrily, like a lion prowling before it caught its prey.  
  
“Locking yourself here for two days Merlin!” Arthur shouted and when Merlin still looked entranced like he didn’t quite know where he was Arthur balled his fists in his hands and started pacing again.  
  
Arthur looked like when he wanted to pummel someone to the ground and yet could not, he was restraining himself and Merlin didn’t know whether to be relieved or to run.  
  
“Two days, without food in your condition, did you even consider that you’re carrying my heir Merlin? DID YOU?” screamed Arthur and Merlin finally thought that this may not be about what he’d initially feared, it seemed that despite Merlin being pregnant, Arthur didn’t suspect magic.  
  
However what came out of Merlin’s mouth finally was, “It’s not your heir.”  
  
Arthur stopped pacing and looked at Merlin his mouth set and eyes afire, Merlin was trapped in Arthur’s arms before he even registered the movement, “What the hell do you mean by that? Of course it is mine or…..” Arthur looked at him with a furious glare that spoke of torture should he answer wrong, “were you fucking someone else?”  
  
Merlin shook his head too horrified to even think of the implications of Arthur’s question and said “No you prat! Not only did you get me with child but now you’re accusing of cuckolding you, seriously?”  
  
Arthur looked contrite but then he regained whatever anger had made him rush all the way here to Merlin’s room this early in the morning, he snapped “You said it wasn’t my heir, you dimwit, what did you expect me to think?”  
  
Merlin honestly did not have the energy for one of their verbal cock fights this morning but it was Arthur and Merlin couldn’t help retorting, “You’re the dimwit sire, it’s not your heir, it’s a bastard is what it is!”  
  
Arthur drew in a sharp breath before he said in a softer tone, “Don’t say that, he’s….he or she will be my heir, don’t ever call them bastard Merlin.”  
  
Merlin sighed now, it was just like Arthur to think he could escape centuries old conviction, “But it’s what it is Arthur…..you might as well accept it now than later.”  
  
“No Merlin….no I will not let that happen…..” Arthur’s tone was firm and his eyes were sure and Merlin sighed internally knowing there was no arguing with Arthur when he was like this.  
  
“Now as you’ve once again proved how much of an idiot you are I’ve taken the liberty of asking the maids to bring food.”  
  
Merlin frowned and tried to protest angry that Arthur was taking control of his life like he didn’t have a choice in the matter but before Merlin could say much Arthur put his hands to Merlin’s mouth effectively blocking anything he could say.  
  
“You will eat Merlin or so help me I will feed it to you.”  
  
Arthur sat there with Merlin on his little cot too close for comfort and kept watch until Merlin finished the entire plate of biscuits and nuts and milk, only when the tray was empty did Arthur leave him with a promise to make Merlin eat if he wasn’t doing it by himself.  
  
Merlin thought that was the end of it but as a week passed and Merlin came out more and did chores for Arthur the Prince became unbearable.  
  
After he knew Merlin was pregnant with his child Arthur was just a tad too overbearing, positively neurotic in fact where Merlin’s safety was concerned and Merlin and Arthur had had one too many screaming matches, the maids all having a ton to gossip about the Prince and his lover finally.  
  
Arthur for his part could not conceive how Merlin thought him overprotective, if Merlin hadn’t possessed such an abysmal sense of self preservation Arthur wouldn’t have to compensate.  
  
If he polished swords Arthur feared he’d cut himself open somehow and bleed to death, if he’d stand in the sun for too long watching the knights practice Arthur feared he’d faint out of heat exhaustion and it was a fair concern too seeing as Merlin had fainted once already, if he shined boots or cleaned the fireplace Arthur feared he’d get sick with a horrid cold and become bedridden, and heaven ever forbid Merlin carrying bath water or bath tubs or heavy armor  while he was pregnant with ARTHUR’S CHILD, he was in no position whatsoever to carry anything and he was giving Arthur a panic attack every time he went and did something completely stupid.  
  
Merlin almost tripping on the staircases while he was carrying some of Arthur’s laundry was the last straw for Arthur and now there were two guards who dogged Merlin’s every step when Arthur himself was occupied and could not do the job himself.  
  
Merlin became more and more annoyed and miserable and even threw things at Arthur when they had one of their raging fights, however no goblet or wayward boot was thrown at Merlin’s head and instead Arthur only ducked and continued fighting with Merlin.  
  
This was one such time when Merlin had had enough!  
  
“SHUT UP ARTHUR! I should have never ever let you fuck me you gigantic prat!” Merlin screamed and Arthur looked taken aback for a minute that Merlin had mentioned the enormous elephant that they’d conveniently ignored for this long.  
  
“Well it wasn’t like you weren’t begging for it Merlin!”  
  
Merlin glared and Arthur glared back, “I WAS NOT BEGGING FOR IT” that was all the wit Merlin could manage in his climbing fury.  
  
Arthur made a rude gesture before imitating in a high voice “Arthur, Arthur, please please fuck me….Arthur don’t stop….pleaseee” Arthur whined the last bit making Merlin blush beet red and turn his head away in an effort to hide it which only managed to make his reddening ears more obvious.  
  
“You’re such a prat” Merlin spat before turning around and letting himself out of Arthur’s room as quickly as his feet would take him.  
  
Merlin sulked sitting in one of the palace gardens bench when Lancelot came upon him. Merlin tensed as he heard footsteps thinking that Arthur had come hunting for him but when he saw it was Lancelot he relaxed.  
  
Lance came over with a smile when he saw it was Merlin, “Hello Merlin, what are you doing out here in the cold?”  
  
It was nearing winter now and Merlin did feel a bit chilled but he couldn’t refrain from snapping “Not you too Lance, I’m not the slightest bit cold.”  
  
Lance looked taken aback before realization sank in and he sat close to Merlin. They remained quiet for awhile before Lance said, “You know Merlin he’s only concerned for you”  
  
Merlin took a long moment before he replied unsure and hating the way his insecurities must be so obvious to Lancelot, “Me or the baby Lance?”  
  
Lance looked understanding and put his arms around Merlin and Merlin was thankful to note there was no pity in his eyes.  
  
“He cares for you greatly Merlin….surely you must know that, he’s perhaps a bit pompous sometimes but he….you mean the world to him Merlin, it’s always been obvious to everyone except you and him….”  
  
“Bit pompous?” Merlin asked incredulously and they both chuckled good naturedly.  
  
“Well that’s certainly debatable…..”  
  
Then Merlin seemed to collect himself as the same time his mind hit upon a revelation, “You said everyone, did Gwen know too?”  
  
Merlin knew Arthur had ended things with Gwen and Gwen was not so very forthcoming to him anymore, they talked of course but it was painfully awkward and not at all like what they used to be and Merlin mourned the loss of a friend such as Guinevere.  
  
Lance hesitated but said “I can’t say I’m intelligent enough to understand the workings of the mind of a lady like her Merlin but yes I suspect she knew.”  
  
Merlin smiled, Lance was always so self deprecating, even after all these years and even after he’d become knighted, Merlin chastised, “You’re plenty intelligent for anyone and most especially for Gwen because she’d been dealing with Arthur for so long she must find you to be a complete scholar.”  
  
“Nonsense Merlin, Arthur is abundantly clever….he has a great head for battle strategy and no one has ever beaten him in chess so far, in fact it was he who suspected you to be pregnant at first, it was his suggestion that made Gaius suspicious too….”  
  
Merlin looked around cautiously, it still wasn’t a very known thing that Merlin was pregnant with Arthur’s child among the castle’s inhabitants and though they were speculating about how Merlin and Arthur had finally become bedmates they hadn’t hit close to the truth yet about Merlin’s condition.  
  
Merlin did find the information stunning after Lance told him, “How….how could he then not suspect me of….you know…” Merlin waved his fingers and Lance nodded understanding.  
  
“I don’t know Merlin….being honest you’re not that good at hiding it either, either he trusts you too much to even think of it or he’s being selectively blind to you using magic right under his nose….”  
  
Merlin didn’t know which option he favored, the first one meant Arthur would see it as a betrayal and Merlin would loose Arthur perhaps forever and the second was just too confusing to even consider.  
  
Lance took Merlin’s hands in his and exclaimed “You are cold” a tad accusingly and Merlin supposed that he was, now that he’d been made aware of it, his hands felt like ice and Lance rubbed them and blew air on them making Merlin erupt in goose bumps at the sudden warmth.  
  
“You’re all too much like your Prince these days where it concerns me, I’m not sick you know….just loaded with a little brat.”  
  
“Don’t know if Arthur would like you calling his child as a brat”  
  
“Arthur doesn’t get any say in what I call it, it’s my child too”  
  
Lance looked up sharply and Merlin realized what he’d said, it was the first time he was acknowledging the child as his own vocally to someone else, until now he’d been calling his baby ‘it’ or ‘Arthur’s brat’ when the growing child inconvenienced him in some way or the other.  
  
Lance smiled and there seemed to be a mixture of joy and relief in his face and Merlin shared the feeling too.  
  
“I’m surprised he hasn’t come looking for me actually” said Merlin feeling miffed despite himself that Arthur hadn’t come looking for him.  
  
“Actually he has….and he looks like he wants to kill me…” said Lance and Merlin turned to where Lance was looking and sure enough it was Arthur who was striding towards them with a menacing expression on his face.  
  
“What do you mean? He probably wants to kill me” stated Merlin.  
  
Lance looked chagrined before he pointed not so subtly to Merlin’s hands in his, “I’m dreading practice tomorrow Merlin, he’s possessive of you and he wouldn’t take kindly to me having a tete a tete with you.”  
  
Merlin was about to reply that Lance was being ridiculous and of course Arthur was not possessive of him of all people but then Arthur reached them and his glare was directed entirely at Lancelot this time.  
  
“Lancelot” Arthur gritted it out coldly like Lance’s name was a curse and Merlin frowned entirely ready to berate Arthur for being so blatantly rude to one of his most loyal knights.  
  
Lance dropped Merlin’s hands and muttered, “My apologies sire…” before he hurried away and Arthur glared at his back until he disappeared from view.  
  
Merlin threw his hands up in the air, “What is wrong with you? First you get angry at me and then now at Lancelot of all people? What has he ever done to you?”  
  
Merlin plain refused to entertain the thought that Arthur could be jealous of Lancelot because of Merlin, it was just too ludicrous, if anything he was probably angry about Gwen and didn’t that thought send a knife stabbing straight through Merlin’s heart.  
  
Arthur looked at him then and snapped “Of course Lancelot could do no wrong in your eyes Merlin”  
  
“He doesn’t deserve you’re ire”  
  
Arthur came near to him then and hissed “Oh I’ll decide what he does and doesn’t deserve Merlin, what were you doing with him anyway?”  
  
“We were talking”  
  
“Looked like a lot more than talking to me”  
  
“I’m not Gwen!” Merlin quipped and he was rewarded with Arthur shutting up for once.  
  
“I know Merlin….but you’re both entirely too gullible, now come away from this dreadful cold; you’ll catch your death!”  
  
Arthur pulled him up and Merlin followed and they bickered all the way up to the castle.  
  
“What do you see in Lancelot anyway?”  
  
“Well since you asked, he’s a lot nicer than you!”  
  
“Nice Merlin? He’s nice to the point of being boring.”  
  
“Oh yes being boring is a more heinous offense than being say…a prat all the time.”  
  
“I’d bet you’d be bored to tears if you ever have to put up with him all day like you do me.”  
  
“No I would not!”  
  
“Yes you would, you red cheeked little sass! You need a person like me to tame you.”  
  
It was said in the heat of the moment but both Merlin and Arthur flushed and turned their heads away from each other. The massive elephant was sitting quite staunchly between them now and as both of them remembered their passionate night together and pined neither of them had the courage to take this forward and the elephant remained quite happily.  
  
“Anyway I am a better knight and I’m a Prince, so I beat him hands down Merlin.”  
  
“You’re a brute and a Prat is what you are!”  
  
“I’m still better than him!”  
  
“No you are not”  
  
“Yes I am”  
  
It went on and on and on and the castle’s guards smirked as the Prince and his manservant passed them exchanging heated words.  
  
Things went on quite normally for some weeks then until Merlin’s magic started to go haywire. His morning sickness was disappearing and he was finally having a healthy appetite and eating like a horse but then on one fine day his hair had turned into a ghastly shade of wheat and no matter what he tried it didn’t change back into its usual raven color.  
  
And it didn’t help that Arthur was close to him all the time now and could come upon him any moment and Merlin could not explain why his locks had suddenly turned dirty blonde.  
  
Merlin rushed out of his rooms and Gaius looked up from the book he was reading only to drop it in shock.  
  
“What have you done Merlin?” Gaius asked with the air of impatience.  
  
“I didn’t Gaius, it’s my magic….I can’t change it back.”  
  
Gaius frowned, he came forward and felt Merlin’s hair with his fingers finding this intriguing indeed. “Hmm…interesting” he muttered.  
Merlin remembered it was Gaius and that he could not slap Gaius’ hands away because it would be disrespectful, still his tone was harsh when he said “Gaius! How will I explain this to Arthur?”  
  
Gaius now looked at Merlin in concern, “It does look too ghastly for him to miss…perhaps we can die it for the time being.”  
  
Too late they realized as the door opened to admit Arthur inside arms laden with an old fur coat of his.  
  
Arthur’s jaw dropped once he saw Merlin and Merlin couldn’t help but self consciously cover his hair with his hands.  
“Merlin, what the devil did you do to your hair?”  
  
“Ehmm” Merlin looked wide eyed and his eyes darted around trying to find a way to explain his sudden change of hair color.  
  
“I dyed it”  
  
“You dyed it?” Arthur enunciated every word slowly like he couldn’t believe how dim Merlin was.  
  
Merlin regained his resolve, after all he had bluffed his way through many a situation like this, he smiled wide and gormless as Arthur rolled his eyes, “Yes….yes…you see I wanted a change so I dyed it”  
  
“Well take it off Merlin, it looks ugly.”  
  
“ARTHUR!” Gaius exclaimed and Arthur spread his hands in a ‘what’ gesture.  
  
“Well it is Gaius….and how did you even dye it to look so ghastly a color? I’ve heard of no dye that could make black hair so….” Well Arthur couldn’t describe the color as anything other than completely hideous and he didn’t think Gaius would appreciate him being honest this time around.  
  
Merlin floundered and Gaius said “It’s from a foreign country sire, you see they’ve found a plant whose sap can turn black hair into….well….this” Gaius indicated to Merlin’s hair. “And it was I who wanted to experiment to see if it really worked and well…it seems it did” stated Gaius primly.  
  
Arthur looked flabbergasted for a minute before saying “WAIT….did you say you used this foreign plant to EXPERIMENT on Merlin? It could be poisonous! It could give him hives for all you know Gaius! How could you do this?” Arthur’s voice rose a decibel with every sentence and finally he was all out shouting and looking at Gaius angrily.  
  
“Arthur, calm down! It’s just a harmless plant!” Merlin beseeched.  
  
“It was once a plant that almost cost you your life, you fool!” Arthur screamed as Merlin remembered drinking poison for the Prince and the Morteus flower that was put in the cup to poison him.  
  
“Arthur, I don’t exactly look like I’m poisoned do I?” Merlin reasoned stepping closer to Arthur hoping Arthur would calm down and stop glaring angrily at Gaius like he wanted to kill the royal physician, poor Gaius who had to take the blame for Merlin’s imprudent and impertinent magic.  
  
Arthur faltered when Merlin caught his hand in his hoping to reassure him that everything was fine, Arthur sighed as the tension drained out of him and said “No you just look like a very blond feathered hideous chicken”  
  
Merlin smacked Arthur’s arm for that and Arthur hissed saying “That was unwarranted! And do wash it off as soon as you are able Merlin, I rather like your raven hair.”  
  
Merlin smirked crossing his arms in front of his chest, “Do you now?”  
  
Arthur narrowed his eyes and quipped “Well atleast that color made you look like a startled crow instead of a ghastly chicken!”  
  
Gaius cleared his throat knowing the two men were once again disappearing off to their own realm forgetting other people’s existence in the world.  
  
Arthur was smiling and so was Merlin and neither seemed too prone to blushing in shame or breaking their moment anytime soon so Gaius interjected loudly, “Merlin, you should probably get to picking those herbs I mentioned.”  
  
Merlin finally looked away from Arthur to Gaius and sighed nodding his head, his old mentor still didn’t approve of Arthur and Merlin having buggered each other and Merlin being pregnant.  
  
Arthur too drew himself back, “Ah Merlin, I brought this for you.” He handed the old fur coat he was having in his arms to Merlin and Merlin took it with a grateful nod, it was getting rather cold these days and the thin jacket Merlin owned didn’t keep the cold away and he kept shivering whenever he had to go outside to run an errand for the Prince or Gaius.  
  
Thankfully the next day Merlin’s hair turned back to its normal raven color and Arthur gave him a pleased nod when he delivered the Prince’s breakfast which they both shared these days, Arthur sacrificing a large portion of his food for Merlin.  
  
And then it was small things at first, like the chainmail cleaning itself with the oil and rag when Merlin was too tired to do anything, the way his room seemed impossibly warm instead of the icy cold bite of the winter, something he wanted to eat very badly appearing out of thin air when it was not the season for it.  
  
All these things were making his predicament easier to bear with so Merlin thought nothing of it when his magic didn’t obey him like always; he reasoned his magic was just protecting him and his child.  
  
And then it became worse, he’d feel this strange twinge whenever he was around Arthur and random things started to levitate in the air when the Prince’s back was turned and he was talking to Merlin. One day they were in Arthur’s room and Merlin found the scant old armor collection Arthur had hanging above the fire place start to levitate and move about the room.  
  
“And this is not even the time or the place for Lord Eldred to talk about such negotiations Merlin…I mean I know my father’s not himself but to assume that I’d just usurp the throne when he’s still breathing….Merlin? Are you even listening to me?”  
  
Merlin’s eyes were glued to the pieces of shield floating merrily in the air and for a moment he panicked, “Hmm what?” he asked and Arthur huffed.  
  
“What are you even looking at?” Arthur went to turn back but before he could Merlin grabbed Arthur by his shirt and pulled him close to himself in a desperate attempt to prevent him from seeing.  
  
Arthur evidently lost all interest about ranting to Merlin about stupid old councilmen and about whatever had Merlin so interested than listening to his Prince.  
  
Merlin was acutely aware of how close he was to the Prince now and as Arthur stared at him with those blue soulful eyes Merlin found himself equally lost and he stared back with abandon.  
  
“Merlin….” Arthur murmured, fingers making their way into Merlin’s hair and pulling gently.  
  
Merlin could feel Arthur’s hot breath on his lips and they were so close that Arthur only had to tilt his head and their lips would meet, however a loud clanging of armor hitting the floor made them both break apart suddenly and Arthur looked around at the scattered old armor and felt bewildered.  
  
“What the….” Arthur was shocked and Merlin’s mind jumped as he tried to come up with ways to explain, ways to lie lie lie, always lie to Arthur.  
  
Arthur looked at Merlin and then gestured for him to be quiet by putting his finger on his lips, he turned around the surveyed the room and grabbed his sword from the dining table before thoroughly scouting his rooms and then outside the window looking at the courtyard below.  
Merlin’s heart beat a frantic rhythm in his chest as Arthur frowned and turned back to him, “It’s never fallen before….”  
  
“Maybe it was a wind or something….” Merlin’s voice wavered and Arthur snorted in disbelief.  
  
“No Merlin, I suspect there might be a sorcerer in the castle….working for Morgana maybe, strange things have been happening lately…and I just…I just know it’s the doing of sorcery.”  
  
Arthur spat the last word and Merlin gulped wondering how long he had before Arthur inevitably figured things out on his own.  
  
That night Merlin had no sleep as he tossed and turned, what would Arthur do if he knew? He could have escaped Camelot and ran to Ealdor but it was winter now and Merlin knew he wouldn’t survive in such a harsh weather out on his own, even his magic wasn’t powerful enough to sustain him through the journey and Arthur would have the entire Camelot’s army on his heels should he escape his sight with his precious heir.  
  
Merlin went to Gaius the next day and told him of the strange magical mishaps and of how Arthur was suspicious of harboring an enemy sorcerer inside Camelot.  
  
“There’s no other way Merlin, you must just not be in his presence at all then. I can’t give you anything to control your magic; it might cause the child harm.”  
  
Avoiding Arthur though was easier said than done, now that Merlin had a little bump to show for being pregnant Arthur constantly wanted to see Merlin all times of the day. He’d turn up in Merlin’s room unannounced after practice or after a council meeting and sometimes even in the early morn when the entire castle was asleep.  
  
He’d wake Merlin up with the racket he made or atleast when he palpated Merlin’s little bump with his sword calloused rough hands. He’d rub Merlin’s stomach and Merlin would wake feeling grumpy about being woken up but all his ire vanished when he saw the soft look on Arthur’s face and Merlin would bear it and put his hands on top of Arthur’s to stay it from moving and making other places in Merlin’s body take interest.  
  
When Merlin’s magic got too difficult to control to the point that he set random things on fire and made an entire wardrobe disappear Merlin thought enough was enough.  
  
He’d said he was too tired to work any longer and just wanted to rest in his rooms from now on and Arthur complied looking only too happy that he’d gotten what he’d wanted all along, he’d rest easy knowing Merlin was not doing the many hazardous tasks that he insisted on doing everyday even if Arthur deliberately told him not to.  
  
Inside the physician’s chambers however Merlin and Gaius were loosing their heads trying to control Merlin’s wild magic which had taken a mind of its own and did as it pleased. The only time Merlin felt it settle was when he was with Arthur and whenever Arthur was not around Merlin could never tell when there would be an accident, he’d set fire to so many things in his rooms that he was afraid to sleep alone in it any longer without the fear of accidentally burning himself and his child to death.  
  
His belly grew and now the outline of it was visible to anyone who knew to look closely. That was another fear he carried, neither Arthur nor Merlin wanted anyone to find out about Merlin’s pregnancy, Uther may not be lucid now but the idea of a male being pregnant with the Prince’s child was so absurd and no doubt many would suspect sorcery was involved, it was a miracle that Arthur had not deduced it by now but Merlin didn’t think the older and paranoid members of the council would think a second before they condemned Merlin for sorcery and burnt him in a pyre.  
  
Somehow his magic did settle when he was around Arthur so that there was no erstwhile floating objects or curtains alighting on fire whenever Arthur was present with him.  
  
Merlin felt relieved as he knew he couldn’t keep Arthur away from him even if he wanted to. Arthur was insistent on seeing him everyday and spent atleast two meals with him and Gaius.  
  
Merlin’s appetite had waned again as his anxiousness grew and Arthur observed all this too keenly and kept trying to feed him enough to satisfy himself.  
  
Keeping all these secrets and his haywire magic in as much control as was possible for him now was taking such a toll on Merlin that it started showing.  
  
Gaius was constantly frowning and worrying about him now, Arthur became more protective than ever asking Merlin if he was alright a dozen times everyday.  
  
Lancelot tried to be there for him as much as he could comforting him and calming him when Merlin felt like he’d go mad with it all.

  
Something’s got to give however and it was a very dull and ordinary day in which Arthur finally found out about Merlin’s magic.

  
It was the most stupid thing that made Merlin get caught, back when he was just a servant to Arthur and did magical feats trying to save the Prince he’d always imagined that he’d reveal himself to Arthur when he was careless and in dire need to protect his Prince, then atleast he would have proved that he was on Arthur’s side, that his magic was all for Arthur, everything for Arthur.  
  
He’d been going completely barmy with all the boredom that he’d gone to Arthur’s rooms and found on the table chainmail which was unclean and rusting. Merlin had scowled and muttered curses about the new serving boy who was so incompetent, Arthur may say a lot of things about Merlin’s abysmal skills as a servant but Merlin had never ever let Arthur’s chainmail rust, he knew how important it was in protecting Arthur from the dangers which he insisted on putting himself in whether it be a tournament or a bandit attack or war.

  
He polished with his hands for awhile but then his magic started doing it for him and after one too many attempts trying to rein it back in Merlin gave up and just watched, he knew Arthur wasn’t due to arrive anytime soon from the Knight’s drills and he’d locked the door for good measure.  
  
However Merlin’s magic had this habit of fucking up where Arthur was concerned, after all he did end up pregnant with Arthur’s child so Arthur met no resistance when he opened the door to his chambers and the squeaking of a hinge was all the warning Merlin had before Arthur came in and took in the scene in front of him.  
  
And what a scene it was, Merlin looking wide eyed and shocked like a thief caught red handed, the chainmail floating in mid air in front of Merlin and the oil and rag floating close by as the rag ran over the chainmail up and down in a rather languid motion pretty unaware of the tension in the room and not responding to Merlin’s desperate plea to ‘stop’.  
  
Arthur looked shattered and he visibly tried to hold himself together as he crossed his arms in front of his torso, “It’s you…you’re….a sorcerer?’ the last word was doubtful but how could Arthur not see now when it was so obvious.  
  
An array of expressions quickly passed over Arthur’s face, shock, confusion, disbelief, hurt then finally anger. Arthur’s eyes burned with fury and his glare had the force of an angry god who’d been unwittingly awakened and his wrath was directed entirely upon Merlin.  
Merlin stood up eyes tearing as he stuttered, “Arthur….Arthur….I can explain”  
  
“SHUT UP!” Arthur roared and Merlin backed away as Arthur took quick strides, caught him tight in his painful grip and shook him.  
  
“Have you ensorcelled me? Was this all a ploy to make me bend to your will? ARE YOU WORKING FOR MORGANA?”  
  
Arthur was screaming and Merlin cast a silencing spell, he couldn’t afford for the guards to show up and report any of this to the King.  
“Arthur, no! I’d never….” Words failed Merlin when he most wanted to express them, fear choking his heart and tears clouding his vision at the hatred he saw in Arthur’s eyes, Arthur hated him now.  
  
Arthur shoved him off and Merlin landed against the wall with a painful sound as Arthur turned away from him and then turned back, “Did you let me impregnate you so that you can have the throne when Morgana killed me? Hmm? DID YOU?”  
  
Merlin’s eyes scrunched up and his mouth twisted in agony, that Arthur thought him capable of such treachery hurt beyond anything Merlin had ever imagined.  
  
“It would be so _convenient too wouldn’t it Merlin_? Since you are carrying the heir and my father’s mentally deteriorated….it would all be yours if you got me out of the way!”  
  
“I NEVER WANTED YOUR STUPID THRONE ARTHUR! I COULD HAVE HAD IT YEARS AGO IF I REALLY WANTED TO!” Merlin screamed now unable to take all the hurtful accusations being hurled at his way.  
  
“THEN WHAT DO YOU WANT SORCEROR? All of you seem to want something nefarious from Camelot or me anyway!”  
“I just wanted to keep you safe!”  
  
“Keep me safe?” Arthur mocked skeptic, “You’re a sorcerer and you wanted to keep me safe? What do you take me for Merlin? A fool?”  
  
Arthur then started laughing hysterically and without any humor and Merlin shrank back as he approached Merlin, “Oh you must have thought me a fool, such a fool….foolish to have believed in you blindly, foolish to have trusted you so completely, foolish Arthur who could be played anyway you wanted to, _you were never going to tell me, were you_?” the last words were uttered so quietly and with so much betrayed sorrow that made Merlin want to weep.  
  
“I wanted to tell you….everyday I…”  
  
“LIAR!” Arthur screamed and dragged Merlin up from where he’d been slumped against the wall. “ALL YOU SAY ARE LIES! Tell me Merlin, _have you ever been truthful to me once in these years we’ve known one another?”_  
  
“Yes I have….Arthur…Arthur I love you, my magic…I use it to protect you….I could never harm you, I’d rather die myself than see you come to harm…”  
  
“How could you say you love me when you’ve lied to me and betrayed my trust for years Merlin? How could you?” Arthur’s eyes were cold and impenetrable and he shoved Merlin away a final time, his expression was one of pure distaste and disgust when he laid eyes upon Merlin.  
  
“GET OUT!”  
  
“Arthur…Arthur please hear me out….”  
  
“GET OUT SORCEROR!”  
  
“I’m still the same MERLIN!” Merlin’s cheeks were red with tears and his body heavy with exhaustion but he still gripped tightly onto Arthur’s arms as he pleaded, “I was born with magic Arthur, I didn’t have a choice in it and I’ve always always used it to help you…Arthur please…please listen to me”  
  
Arthur’s body was coiled tight with tension and Merlin waited while holding onto Arthur’s arms as Arthur closed his eyes and breathed out heavily.  
  
Finally after what seemed like decades to Merlin Arthur opened his eyes and pulled Merlin’s hands away from him, Arthur’s eyes betrayed no emotion when he looked at Merlin finally and said “Get out now Merlin, I do not want to talk to you now.”  
  
Merlin let his hands fall to his sides and an anguished sob escaped as he leaned away from Arthur, in a whisper he asked “What are you going to do to me now?”  
  
Arthur looked up properly at Merlin at that, his face displaying confusion until Merlin clarified, “Am I to be burnt or beheaded?”  
  
Arthur’s eyes bulged and his jaw dropped as he flinched away from Merlin looking so shocked that for a moment Merlin felt ashamed at having put it so bluntly, but he couldn’t bring himself to rephrase it as if that was to be his fate Merlin wanted to know.  
  
“Do you really think I’d hurt you so Merlin? _Is that all the faith you have in me_?” Arthur’s eyes were tormented and glassy with tears.  
  
“Arthur…I…”  
  
“Leave me Merlin”  
  
“Arthur….I’m sorry….I….”  
  
“LEAVE ME, I BEG YOU! LEAVE!” Arthur pleaded and Merlin could do nothing but back away and run as fast as he could, tears blinding his vision and chest heavy with pain.

* * *

_The end, yes I know I’m evil for the cliffhanger_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter - 3**

The persistent pounding on his door finally shredded Arthur's nerves and he opened only to be met with an angry Gwaine and a somewhat desolate Lancelot.

Arthur went to shut the door back but Gwaine wedged his foot in and came into the royal chambers giving Arthur no time he swung his fist and struck a blow to Arthur's jaw.

Arthur's neck turned with the force of the impact and his fury at Merlin and the entire situation came back all at once as he regained his balance and went for Gwaine who stood in a fighting stance ready for Arthur.

However Lancelot got in the way and held Arthur tight and in an uncharacteristic way for him bellowed "STOP IT! The both of you, we're not here to have a tavern brawl!"

"Shut up Lance, I'm going to pound his face into the ground! How dare you accuse Merlin of working for Morgana? After everything that he's done for you! You arrogant bastard!" screamed Gwaine and Arthur fell silent not protesting against Lance's hold of him now.

"You knew?" Arthur's voice broke, "He told _you_ but he didn't tell me?"

Lancelot intervened before Gwaine could turn the situation even worse, "No Arthur, he didn't tell us. I found out on my own and so did Gwaine."

Arthur turned away then needing to process this for awhile, it seemed everyone around him was more aware of Merlin than he was despite Merlin spending most of his time with Arthur and Arthur could not believe how he couldn't have caught Merlin at it.

"Arthur you must know that he's always been on your side, he's always used it to protect you and us on many occasions…."

And Arthur thought he had been protecting Merlin for so long, he was a warrior, a Prince, he shouldn't need the protection of a sorcerer but it seemed all the battles he'd won and all the pickles he'd come out of in the years since he'd known Merlin hadn't been on his own, even when the odds were stacked so high against them they'd come out alive and victorious and Arthur had thought foolishly that the victory had been his, not solely of course but that of his knights and his. He'd never even thought that the peasant serving boy had been anything but devout when he followed Arthur everywhere, even into peril without a thought for himself or his own neck.

Arthur had once thought that Merlin must be under some ridiculous adoration of Arthur to follow him into danger back when Arthur had not really discerned his own feelings for Merlin. How foolish he must seem to Merlin now? How much of his victory was owed to Merlin?

Things came to him in bits and pieces, all the times when he must have been surely dead, the immortal army, the Great Dragon, the knife that was meant for him all those years ago when Merlin had first saved him.

"I need time Lancelot, I'm…."

"Overwhelmed?" quipped Gwaine, he seemed to have calmed down now that he'd gotten his initial anger out of the way.

Arthur didn't say anything except to glare at Gwaine.

"Of course…you're not….I'm sorry I have to ask sire but Merlin is…"

"What he wants to ask is if you're going to execute Merlin now that you know because we'd be smuggling Merlin out somewhere you can never see him again…" Gwaine was all to gleeful about the idea of Merlin being far away from Arthur where he wouldn't have to take the Prince's shit all the time.

Arthur turned and clenched his fists, his eyes shining with determination he said, "Don't you dare and tell him I will find him wherever he runs to if he ever plans to leave Camelot!"

"So you will not…" it was Lancelot's quiet voice this time.

However Arthur had had enough, "I'll die myself than to kill him."

Arthur had his head slumped and he was leaning on the table top with one of his hands, his posture spoke of defeat and pain but when he looked up his eyes were sincere, "Merlin…I…I'd never hurt him, I couldn't bear it if he came to some harm."

Gwaine and Lancelot decided that for now Arthur's assurance will have to do, both of them knew however that things were going to be hard between the Prince and Merlin from now on, and they dreaded at the thought of what this revelation would do to Arthur and Merlin's relationship.

* * *

It had been two weeks since Arthur had talked to or even been in Merlin's presence. Merlin was still living with his head firmly on his shoulders so Merlin was thankful about that atleast, he was still in Camelot which was also equally confounding for Merlin was all set for beating a hasty retreat to Ealdor if things got dangerous for him or his child in Camelot, and Arthur's brat was still growing happily and healthily inside him, never mind that Merlin felt wretched and heartbroken so Merlin had taken to calling it Arthur's brat again because how can it be so happy when he felt downright miserable? Only Arthur would disrespect Merlin's emotions so thoroughly by being ecstatic when Merlin was gloomy, no wonder Arthur's brat was the same really.

Arthur's brat was so happy in fact that Merlin's magic that was still haywire had taken to playing happy musical tunes out of nothing whenever the baby felt a whim for listening to something dreadfully cheery. Today it was playing Mozart's Eine Klein Nachtmusik and Merlin's ears were going to bleed if he had to keep listening to the tune for hours long, never mind Mozart would be offended with Merlin's thoughts.

Even though Arthur was not talking to him or seeing him now the palace maids still delivered sumptuous food for him and Gaius, only Arthur was not there to take part in it.

Recently with all of Arthur's attention being focused on him Merlin had gotten rather used to it and even liked it when Arthur was around berating Merlin to eat more, or stopping him from doing something unbelievably stupid as he said.

Merlin missed Arthur, he missed Arthur like he missed a torn limb. Gwaine, Lancelot and Gwen came to see him regularly and he wrote to his mother frequently finally telling her about his pregnancy. Hunith wrote back saying she was delighted to finally have a grand child but also apprehensive for Merlin's sake.

Still nothing could fill the gaping hole where Arthur had been present and Merlin wondered if he'd ruined it all for good now.

And since Arthur was never around anymore his magic had gotten so out of control that at night time Gaius had his hands chained in cold iron to stop his magic from accidentally setting his bed on fire with Merlin in it.

The iron felt wrong and heavy draining him of all his magic but there was no other way to stop his magic from becoming too harmful to himself, the baby or the castle so it just had to be done.

Merlin had been taking a stroll of the castle wearing Arthur's fur coat, the castle's servants were all gossiping about what seemed to be the tiff between Arthur and Merlin this time around. The only other time they'd both completely ignored each other was right after they'd slept together and even then their silence had not had been so ominous.

Arthur's brat was rather active for winter time, Merlin thought harshly as there was another fluttery sensation in his belly which meant the babe was probably flipping inside his womb. Merlin put a hand on his belly automatically looking down and scowling not seeing Arthur who'd just turned in Merlin's direction and was walking with Leon and Elyan towards him, Merlin was too preoccupied with berating Arthur's brat to take notice and hide or run.

Arthur himself was seeing Merlin for the first time since two weeks, he'd ignored all his urges making him want to go to Merlin and see him, make sure he was fine, that the babe was fine, he'd not gotten any good at curbing the longing in the two longest weeks of his life trying to distance himself from Merlin and the babe. He'd thought long and hard about the implications of Merlin having magic, Merlin having hidden such an integral part of his person for so long from Arthur, Merlin lying to him for years, he wanted to be angry and he was for a while before he realized that he'd never given Merlin any reason to confide in him.

He'd proclaimed sorcery was evil in front of Merlin day in and day out, stood to witness execution of innocent sorcerers with his father, told Merlin that they could not be friends because he was a Prince, sat in council silently while his father gave death sentence to all sorcerers who happen to get caught in Camelot, and all the while Merlin had stayed. Merlin had stayed in Camelot to protect him and Arthur had thought himself invincible to come out so victorious in every endeavor.

How must have Merlin felt? Having done so much for Camelot, for Arthur and then to be so overshadowed, to be ridiculed by Arthur and his knights, to bear every insult thrown his way by Arthur over the years, Arthur had treated Merlin downright horribly and cruelly at times, how then could he ever expect Merlin to be forthcoming to him? He'd simply never given Merlin any reason to believe in him.

Merlin could have been caught any time and under Uther's law he would have been burnt at the pyre and nothing Arthur or anyone else said would have changed Uther's mind. Arthur imagined Merlin being taken away to be burnt at the pyre and his chest constricted with the agony of such pain ever befalling Merlin, whatever Arthur might seem to his knights Arthur had meant it when he said he'd die before he'd let anything kill Merlin and that included himself, his father and even Morgana. Arthur would cut anyone down without a thought if they meant harm to Merlin because unwittingly and amazingly Arthur was completely and ardently in love with his idiot manservant and the revelation of his magic did _nothing to change it_.

So it was understandable really that Arthur could not ignore Merlin when he was clutching his belly and looking like he was in pain, it was instinct really. Arthur tried to take measured steps as was befitting of a Prince and not like some common harridan who was panicking and hurrying and _obviously showing_ they were hurrying, judging by the alarmed expressions on Leon and Elyans faces though, Arthur was not so successful.

When he reached nearer though all Arthur heard was, " _You must have gotten the naughty half of your genes from him little brat! Can't you stop moving for awhile? Let me live in peace?_ "

Arthur had had a discrete round table conference to let his closest knights know about Merlin's condition the last week after Merlin had consented to inform them all, well Lancelot said Merlin consented so Arthur assumed it meant he'd talked to Merlin when Arthur couldn't yet.

So Leon and Elyan understood what Merlin was on about and started sniggering behind Arthur's back the traitors and Arthur cleared his throat and said "Figures you'd blame me for everything bad he inherits….Merlin."

Merlin looked up shocked at being addressed by Arthur, and Arthur's tone was normal like when they bantered back and forth and Merlin couldn't bring himself to quip back as his mind was still stuck on, _'ARTHUR IS TALKING TO ME!'_ and then all the longing and pain he'd felt came at him all at once and Merlin teared up because hey stupid hormones making him a mess all the time.

Arthur looked bewildered, "What….Merlin?"

Tears fell and Arthur came closer as Leon and Elyan distanced themselves and walked away from them.

"Merlin" Arthur whispered close to Merlin like he hadn't been in so long. His tone was so cautious like he was talking to a very startled and frightened rabbit and Merlin crumbled clutching Arthur close and crying into his tunic.

They were outside in the castle's corridors where anyone could see them and Arthur having fully capable mental faculties slowly pulled Merlin along into an unoccupied room close by.

Merlin was still burrowing close to Arthur and Arthur who'd been all too starved of touch let his hands wander along Merlin's sides, along his back and finally brushing aside his tunic to touch Merlin's bare abdomen swollen with his child. He felt a jolt in his hands and looked up startled to see Merlin smiling teary eyed and all, "Your brat recognizes you… he likes that you're close."

"Don't call him a brat!"

Merlin sighed and leaned his head onto Arthur's broad shoulders, "Missed you"

"Gods Merlin…." Arthur laid a barely there kiss on the crown of Merlin's head before he said "I can't stay away from you even if I wanted to"

"Don't…don't stay away"

Arthur pushed Merlin back gently but firmly now and then looked at Merlin for a long moment, "I need time Merlin…I…I'm still confounded so much."

"I understand Arthur" said Merlin immediately; nodding his head to convince Arthur of the same even though he knew he needed Arthur with him now more than ever.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry for hiding from you, for lying to you…."

Arthur was still close enough that Merlin heard him when he whispered "I understand why you did Merlin…I never gave you any reason to believe I was any different than my father."

Merlin gripped Arthur's hand in his at that and shook his head vehemently, "I never thought you were like your father….I didn't….I didn't want to put you in a position to choose between me and your father, I didn't want you to hate me."

Arthur clutched Merlin's face with both his hands bringing Merlin close despite telling Merlin he needed time, "I don't hate you, I never will."

It hurt Arthur to think Merlin had thought he'd hate him, he could never bring himself to hate Merlin, not even immediately after he'd revealed himself unwittingly and Arthur felt his heart torn apart with betrayal worse than Morgana's or his father's could ever be, kind, loyal and stupidly brave Merlin with his bright eyes and tempting mouth, Arthur could never even conceive of hating him.

Arthur was aware they were too close now and even though all he wanted was to pull Merlin closer and kiss those tempting lips he refrained, they hadn't resolved everything today and there was so much Arthur didn't know about Merlin.

He pulled himself away and said "Go to your chambers Merlin, it's too cold to be outside."

Merlin didn't backtalk and tell Arthur to bugger off this time but the eyeroll he gave Arthur said everything he meant to convey and Arthur turned away before smiling and walking away resolutely, they were not so damaged that they had become irreparable and for now that was enough.

* * *

What was very frustrating about his second trimester as Gaius called it now was that Merlin felt very very horny. He'd take care of himself with his hand well enough but it was getting difficult to stretch his hand out across his swelling mid section and all his dirty fantasies involved Arthur being there to take him properly so for once he'd feel sated instead of desolate and churlish.

Ever since that conversation with Arthur two days ago Merlin had hoped that now that they had talked about it Arthur would come to see him.

But Arthur was still keeping his distance and Merlin was trying to be patient about it and not succeeding hence his excessive griping to Gwen, Lancelot had told Gwen about Merlin's special abilities after feeling too guilty with hiding it when Gwen and him were becoming closer and Gwen, amazing Gwen had taken it all in stride and forgiven Merlin entirely.

They were back to being thick as a pair of thieves these days.

"I mean I get that he needs time, I do….he's reacting far better than I'd ever imagined but would it kill him to come see me? Just once in a day…."

"He's a Prince Merlin, he has duties you know, when I was with him we'd gone without seeing each other for months…."

Merlin frowned wondering if Gwen was still hurt over Merlin having ruined everything between Arthur and her.

He needn't have worried however as Gwen said, "I must have seen right then though that we were not meant to be….I mean even when he was with me he was always bringing you into the conversation."

Merlin didn't know how to respond to that except to say, "Lancelot always talks about you when he talks to me…"

"Oh Merlin….I'm not holding any grudges where Arthur is concerned alright, his heart was never mine and mine was never his, it's really very good that we came to realize this sooner than later believe me…"

Merlin grinned then, "It's not fair, you get to walk away with the better man!"

"Now I know you don't mean that"

"I do too; you've dumped me with Arthur!" Merlin said very put upon.

"Like you would ever think any man is a better man than Arthur!" Gwen said giving him a shrewd glare.

"I do too think Lancelot is a better man!"

"You hold him in high regards maybe, but I'm willing to bet on my first born you'd never have let him tumble you."

Merlin's cheeks reddened and he couldn't quite retort to that, as it was true and he really didn't want Gwen to think he'd sleep with Lancelot of all people.

"So….." Gwen dragged the words and Merlin could see a faint blush on her cheeks as well as she hesitantly asked, "How is he…you know…."

"What?" Merlin feigned confusion hoping to escape the conversation all together.

"Merlin!" Gwen sighed, "If you don't want to tell fine but don't pretend you don't know what I'm asking about, how is Arthur in bed?"

"Ehmmm, I don't think I should say it….I mean….it isn't…very chivalrous to discuss such things right?"

Gwen looked incredulous before saying "I'm sure the reality was far less vulgar than some of the scenario's the castle's maids and cook have come up with."

"The castle maids and cook gossip about me and Arthur having sex?"

"Wild sex Merlin, wild…."

"Well there surely wasn't anything wild going on!" Merlin said with a heated glare in Gwen's direction.

"Oh" said Gwen and then asked "So you were disappointed?"

"WHAT? NO!"

"How many times did you do it anyway?"

"Gweeennn!" Merlin whined.

"That many and you still weren't satisfied you nymph?"

"NO! We did it three times alright! Just three and nothing wild! So shut up!"

Gwen giggled and said "Fine, fine you prudish creature."

"I'm pregnant Gwen, out of wedlock; I'm the last person in the castle who should be called prudish."

Gwen conceded "You do have a point there"

Merlin's sexual frustration was not being helped by his talk with Gwen that afternoon and he desperately wished Arthur to be there for him now, he burnt with lust hot and bright and his hand was entirely too unsatisfactory.

Arthur was hearing a dispute between two farmers when the Knights he sent out to scout the north in search of Morgana came in looking well enough thankfully but still with consternation.

He settled the dispute by dividing the harvest equally between the two families and said that the farmer who owned the land must do the labor himself if he wished to have the full harvest for his family.

He then summoned Bedivere who bowed before addressing him, "Sire, we've come to report of our discovery."

Arthur had sent two knights Bedivere and Kay just to scout the area and keep an eye on anything unusual, he'd known sending a large party of knights would be conspicuous and he did not need to loose more able men to Morgana and her war.

"What have you found Sir Bedivere?"

"Sire, we saw the Lady Morgana and her accomplice Morgause heading towards the Isle of the Blessed, we followed and Lady Morgana sacrificed her sister's life to tear the veils between the mortal world and the underworld."

Arthur sat straighter in attention not needing to hear to know that whatever Morgana had done it could not mean well for Camelot or himself.

"However she failed in her task. Morgause died but the price of her life was not enough to tear this veil."

"Did you learn why she failed?" asked Arthur, he couldn't imagine Morgana wanting to sacrifice Morgause's life for anything, she was fiercely protective and loyal to Morgause but then again she'd been protective of him too before everything went to the dogs.

"No sire…she was very mad that it did not work, she screamed and everything around her crumbled to dust, we made our escape then."

Arthur nodded, he would have wanted them to save themselves anyway, he had commanded them to return at the first sight of trouble, that they had went this far and spied on Morgana and Morgause was in and of itself a great feet.

"Well done Sir Bedivere and Sir Kay, I bid you both a good rest, you can join training after two days from now."

"Thankyou sire" Bedivere bowed and Kay did as well, Kay had stood silent and behind Bedivere this whole time. He was the youngest knight in Camelot at present and he was still a little shy of talking to Arthur directly.

Arthur wished Merlin were here now so that he could ask for his council, after all he must have an idea about what these tearing veils was all about, even the sound of it was ominous to Arthur. Though he wanted to see Merlin constantly ever since they'd ran into each other three days ago Arthur asked Lancelot to deliver the message to Merlin and Gaius and decided to wait in his chambers to know what they thought of this whole tearing veils business.

* * *

Someone knocked on his door and Arthur was shocked when the door opened to admit Guinevere inside. They'd not talked to each other ever since they'd called their relationship to an end and Arthur was nervous about what Gwen wanted to talk to him about now. He wasn't proud of the fact that he'd for all intents and purposes cheated on Gwen with Merlin.

"Guinevere….hello, how are you?" Arthur asked remembering his manners, managing to school his face into a hopefully polite expression.

"Hello Arthur, I'm fine…..and uhh how are you faring?"

Arthur hesitated wondering why Gwen was here for, but even so he replied, "I'm well"

"What have you been doing lately?"

Gwen winced after that escaped out of her mouth and Arthur smiled indulgent with her ways, "Council meetings, training, you know the usual lot…." Arthur humored her anyway though he knew that was not what Gwen wanted to talk to him about at all.

Gwen looked at him then and sighed before rolling her eyes, "Oh to hell with this! Okay, I didn't exactly come here to talk pleasantries."

"I guessed as much" said Arthur before he invited her to sit.

Arthur sat himself on one of his dining chairs before broaching, "So what did you want to talk to me about?"

Gwen looked hesitant again but once she'd made up her mind about something there was no stopping Gwen so Arthur waited.

He was entirely unprepared however when she said "Stop avoiding Merlin"

"What?" he asked though he knew it must make him look astute.

"I said stop avoiding Merlin"

"Gwen….I really don't think it's wise for either of us to be in each other's presence right now."

"Arthur it's been hard on him, he needs you now, more than ever. He's willing to suffer through it but please don't make him! Don't shut yourself away from him, not now!"

Arthur was surprised at the passion with which Gwen spoke and before thinking he snapped, "If he's crying and making a scene it's only because he's a great girl about it! I said to him quite clearly that I needed time…."

Gwen stood up and the creaking of the chair was all the warning Arthur got before Gwen shouted "Arthur you're such an arrogant ignoramus!"

Arthur's eyes widened and he held his hands out in a placating gesture, Merlin had called him all manner of things under the sun but Gwen, kind and polite Gwen was never ever not courteous to Arthur.

"His magic is out of control all the time now; it's become so much of a problem that Gaius has to lock his hands in iron cuffs before he sleeps every night. He doesn't eat as much, and I'm sure he's not sleeping well either. He misses you; he misses you so much that you're all he can talk about to any of us! And let's not forget that he is pregnant, how can you call it as him being a 'girl' about it!"

Arthur had not known that particular information about Merlin needing iron cuffs to control his magic and he rose from his chair too, "Gaius has to lock him in iron cuffs?"

Gwen calmed down once she was done with her rant, she hoped atleast some of it had pierced Arthur's rather thick skull.

"Yes, to control his wild magic, his magic keeps setting things on fire or breaking anything in sight, Gaius fears it might set Merlin's room on fire if he sleeps in it without the cuffs."

"Why didn't he tell me about this?" Arthur was incensed, another damn thing about Merlin being kept from him, this is all he needed.

"Why would he tell you? You told him to give you space and he's been nothing but complying!"

"I meant Gaius, not Merlin."

Gwen frowned, "Oh…well Gaius is rather angry at you I believe….he didn't like it that you accused Merlin of siding with Morgana."

"Still I deserve to know what's going on with Merlin! I am the child's father!"

"Well you could know all of this if you stopped avoiding Merlin already; you're only hurting yourself along with hurting Merlin."

Arthur dipped his head in recognition of the truth in Gwen's words. Gwen left after they'd shared their dinner together and Arthur ruminated on her words and on where Morgana was right now as he fell into an uneasy sleep that night.

The next morning Merlin was surprised when the maids delivered breakfast and in came Arthur following them.

Gaius shot Arthur a pointed glare but Arthur ignored it and instead sat next to Merlin. Merlin was wide eyed in shocked amazement and Arthur said in his customary derogatory tone "Close your mouth Merlin, you'll catch flies."

Merlin closed his mouth only to grim his wide goofy utterly ridiculous grin and Arthur refrained from smiling back like a fool in love before he loaded Merlin's plate himself piling the sweetmeats he'd asked the cooks to prepare especially for Merlin, it was all the apology he could give for now and Merlin seemed all too happy to stuff his face with them.

After they'd eaten their fill and after he'd forced Merlin to eat another bowl of the delicious stew Arthur took Merlin's hands in his and pulled him to Merlin's room away from Gaius' unwarranted glares.

He dropped Merlin's hands once they were inside feeling the loss immediately when Merlin went and sat on his small cot leaning with difficulty against the headboard which was too short to support him properly.

Arthur frowned, now that he was inside he felt the coldness seep into his skin despite wearing his winter coat and Merlin had his old coat now but the cot and the room must still not be comfortable enough for Merlin to sleep in if the way he was struggling to find a comfortable position to sit was any indication.

"Why aren't you wearing your coat?" he asked, Merlin was clad in a thin shirt which showed his belly, Arthur had gathered he was five months along right now and the thin shirt was entirely insufficient to keep the cold away in this horrid squalor of a room.

"It was itchy" Merlin answered dismayed at Arthur's look of pure disgust in his direction. "You can go now if you want to….I can see you don't want to be here."

"I certainly don't" said Arthur too quickly and it was only Merlin's sharp breath intake that alerted him to the fact that Merlin seemed completely upset, it was only then that Arthur realized how Merlin might have perceived his answer.

Arthur quickly went and sat near Merlin holding his face to make him look up at his eyes, "Merlin I did not mean that I don't want to be here with you….it's just this room is the worst in the castle I've seen and you deserve better…"

Merlin breathed out a happy sigh of relief and touched his hand to Arthur's which were cupping his face, Arthur had become more touchy ever since he'd learned of Merlin's pregnancy and Merlin only welcomed Arthur's affections all too wantonly.

"That's because you've never seen the cook's quarters, and my house in Ealdor is a lot worse than this during the winter."

"Well this place is unacceptable as a living abode when you're carrying my heir, I'll arrange for a room to be prepared for you today."

Merlin dropped his hand and the mad expression on his face was enough for Arthur to know that Merlin was going to protest, "Arthur! I'm not changing my rooms just because you think it's not grand enough for your heir!"

"You're not comfortable in this cot, you're sitting oddly right now, don't protest just for the sake of protesting me Merlin."

"Well I'm not going to be comfortable being cuffed up to any bed now, am I? Atleast the short headboard on this one means I don't have to stretch my arms till they hurt."

"About that….why is your ehhh" Arthur waved two fingers and Merlin snorted, "Yes very funny Merlin, you know saying the word in this Kingdom could mean death so excuse me for being cautious!"

Merlin stopped laughing then and looked solemn as Arthur continued, "Why is it malfunctioning now? Is it something to do with the babe?"

"I think so yes, I mean sometimes my magic makes music to entertain the babe. I just don't understand why it would set things on fire though….or break things at a random, I can't imagine the baby wanting to set itself on fire…."

"Maybe the babe just wants warmth, it is awfully nippy here Merlin."

Merlin hadn't thought about that but it still didn't explain all the random things that kept happening around him these days. In fact this morning and the times when Arthur was near him during those months before he came to know of Merlin's magic was the only time he felt his magic settle into his skin.

Merlin didn't know whether Arthur would appreciate him saying that Arthur's presence calmed his magic though.

"Is it…does it want to do something now?"

Well that settled that he supposed, it was Arthur who asked so Merlin replied, "Uhmm….no, no, you…you being here actually calms it, it's why there was never any untoward happenings when I was around you….well except for that one time with the armor."

Arthur remembered that night clearly even now, he still remembered how Merlin had desperately pulled Arthur close and how much he'd wanted to take Merlin to bed that night and then the armor had fallen, Arthur wondered how much of Merlin's desperation was about distracting Arthur from the truth.

"Well…you should have told me sooner Merlin that settles it….from today you'll sleep with me in my chambers, that way you don't have to be locked in cuffs like an animal."

Merlin could feel the blood rushing up to bloom in his face as he snapped "I'm not sleeping with you in your chambers."

Arthur gave him a look, his Princely look that more or less said 'Thou must honor me and abide me because I am your uppity sovereign' and said "Yes you are!"

"No I am not; I don't want to sleep in your chambers! I like mine just fine." Merlin was resolute on this; he was going to embarrass himself if he was that close to Arthur, sleeping with Arthur in the same bed would be pure torture having him so close and yet so far away.

"Damn it Merlin! This place is a squalor, I'll not have you sickening and dying on me like my mother did when she gave birth so suck it up! You are moving to my chambers today, you can either get your skinny arse there by yourself or I'll carry you myself!" Arthur got up and left, and Merlin's deafening scream of 'Arthur, you prat' made him grit his teeth as he walked towards the practice arena.

Merlin had just plain refused to come stay with Arthur and Arthur being Arthur knocked on Merlin's door at half past ten and Merlin rolled his eyes when he saw that Arthur was holding a bedroll in his arms now and just behind him there was George who was carrying a few pillows and two blankets, poor George looked weighed down by the stuff and Merlin huffed putting his hands on his hips.

"Arthur no!"

"Yes Merlin, leave it be or come to my chambers, you're choice."

Gaius had agreed that if Arthur could make Merlin's magic settle it would be best at the time being for Merlin to stay close to Arthur.

Arthur had naturally taken that to mean that Merlin must not be left out of his sight for longer than an hour at most, and Merlin almost missed the weeks of freedom where he didn't have Arthur breathing down his neck, _almost._

Since Arthur sleeping in his room was a better alternative to the other option of having to essentially move into Arthur's chambers and to Arthur's bed where they'd had sex Merlin allowed Arthur to arrange the bedroll comfortably on the floor.

It was rather fluffy and comfy looking for a bedroll, like it was made out of goosefeathers and Merlin shook his head, no wonder at all, Arthur always was a bit too spoiled.

George arranged three pillows on the bed and laid one on top of Merlin's bed along with the blankets before leaving.

As soon as Merlin's back was turned to close the door Arthur sat himself down comfortably on Merlin's cot and sat leaning against the new pillow.

Gaius had decided to forego the cuffs just for tonight to see if Arthur's closeness would really settle Merlin's wild magic.

When Merlin turned back it was to see Arthur sitting comfortably on his hard cot giving him an odd look.

"What? Is there something on my face?"

"No" stated Arthur, inside Arthur was just feeling the situations intimacy a bit too keenly. He was aware that this would be the first night they'd spend together after their coupling all those months ago and his heart was filled to the brim with a longing to hold Merlin close while he slept.

Merlin gave Arthur an expectant look and when Arthur just looked confused Merlin said "I'm rather tired."

"Mhmm, it's to be expected, I hear pregnant women are tired all the time."

"Arthur I want to sleep."

"So sleep" said Arthur not understanding why Merlin seemed so irritated with him.

"You are sitting on my bed, get out of it." Merlin said finally when nothing seemed to make Arthur move from his spot.

Arthur huffed then leaned back against the pillows more as he proclaimed, "The bedroll is for you Merlin, since you're too damned hair brained to have appreciation for a good bedding I took it upon myself to purchase it for you, now…." Arthur gestured with his hands for Merlin to get on the bedroll.

"I want my cot!" Merlin was mutinous even though he knew the bed roll would probably be far more comfortable than his little cot.

"Well tough luck, you're not getting it" stated Arthur before he laid down on Merlin's cot with all the grace of a Prince and arranged his pillows to support his head.

Merlin was too tired to argue his case, he'd just have to steal Arthur's place on his cot, tomorrow he decided, tomorrow he would not be fooled.

Those thoughts vanished however when he finally deigned to lay on the bedroll and found it as soft as the ones in Arthur's rooms. It felt like he was laying on clouds and Merlin slept soundly with no cuffs to restrain him and no wild magic to worry about.

Unbestknown to him Arthur observed the whole time and only snuffed out the candle long after Merlin's soft snores stopped being adorable and were just starting to grate and serve to remember Arthur how tired he was too.

That morning Arthur woke up with his back sore and a crick in his neck and when he finally deigned to sit up it was to feel his back aching in protest. He was disoriented for a minute before Merlin's chipper, "Good morning…" made him realize where he was at once.

The thing he'd slept on was not even legible to be called a cot, Arthur had slept on forest floors which were more comfortable than it and he said as much to Merlin.

"Stop whining, I didn't ask you to sleep here."

Arthur looked down to see Merlin's head peaking out from under the blankets, his raven hair ruffled every which way and his mouth pouting pink.

"And yet there seems to be nothing on fire, except my back of course. Gods Merlin, would it have killed you to get a proper bed? It's not like I don't pay you."

Merlin was quiet for awhile before he said "I send most of it to mom."

Arthur turned away then and cleared his throat, "Well I'm chucking this thing out today and getting another new one. I can't even turn my neck Merlin."

"God, you're a nag Arthur, even Gwaine and Lancelot didn't have this much to complain about!" Merlin was in that state of half sleep and half wakefulness, so he didn't realize the fatal error of saying what he'd said.

"What?" said Arthur in a contained whisper before the implications became too much and his morning wood didn't help his brain from not going completely caveman before he asked in a guarded tone, "Gwaine and Lancelot were here in your bed?"

Merlin must have atleast sensed the danger in Arthur's tone, after all Arthur only ever spoke that way right before he was about to do something absolutely frightening. Merlin only hummed in reply to Arthur's question and snuggled deeper into the blankets not realizing what he'd set in motion.

"Gwaine and Lancelot were here in your bed?" Arthur shouted now, not caring if he woke up Gaius or even the rest of the bloody castle.

Merlin winced annoyed at the pitch of Arthur's voice, "Arthur shush! It's too early to be screaming."

"Don't you sush me Merlin! Don't you fucking dare!" Arthur was out of Merlin's thrice damned cot and pulling away Merlin's blankets as he muttered, "fucking letting every knight I know of….damn you Merlin! Damn you!" Merlin batted inefficiently at Arthur's hands that stripped him of the amazingly warm blankets and then glared at Arthur who glared back.

Unfortunately for Merlin Arthur didn't stop there, he sat on top of Merlin taking care to not squish his belly but locking Merlin's thighs with his own and stretching Merlin's arms up and above him, Arthur's expression was one of a furious focus, his fury entirely directed on Merlin and poor Merlin didn't even know what this was about, yet. So much for no handcuffs, Arthur was gripping him rather painfully now.

"Why did you have Lancelot and Gwaine in your bed? Why?" Arthur demanded his eyes holding Merlin's with a scary intensity that made Merlin want to cower.

Merlin however snapped out of it in a moment, and retorted, "Why do you think?" he was cold and sleepy and Arthur was being entirely unreasonable for no good reason.

"Wrong answer Merlin!" Arthur said before he grinded down and brushed Merlin's neglected and very interested cock with his own hardness.

Merlin had been overloaded with hormones and wanting this for ages so at the first touch he moaned out Arthur's name and tried to buck up so that he could feel that amazing friction again.

Arthur however didn't seem to want to act in accordance with Merlin's wishes and restrained Merlin effectively with his bigger bulk.

"Did you sleep with Gwaine or Lancelot?" Arthur asked holding Merlin's gaze tightening his hold warningly when Merlin tried to move and then finally Merlin understood what this was all about. He wanted to immediately deny the accusation but then some corner of his mind rejoiced at seeing Arthur so obviously jealous and holding him so possessively tight, it made him want to melt in Arthur's arms.

So instead of giving Arthur an answer right away Merlin said "Well….hmmm….I have to think."

"MERLIN" Arthur gritted his teeth, he knew of course that he had no right to demand Merlin's loyalty before he was even Arthur's, if he was even Arthur's now but the thought of Gwaine or Lancelot or anyone for that matter putting their hands on Merlin sent Arthur's blood surging with need to take apart any man who dared put his hand on Merlin.

"So impatient sire…." Merlin said huskily and Arthur's eyes widened before dropping down to Merlin's enticing lips, "I didn't believe it when Lancelot told me and I can hardly believe it now…..you're jealous."

Arthur's eyes narrowed in a sharp glare and Merlin murmured "You have no reason to be Arthur, I've not lain with Gwaine or Lance."

"Why were they in your bed then?"

"For the same reason you are, to sleep, and they were both too hurt at the time to do anything but sleep so…."

"I'm going to burn that bed Merlin."

Merlin snorted, he couldn't help it, "You're such a prat, are you going to let go of me now? You're hurting my wrists…."

Arthur's eyes were alight with guilt and he immediately moved off of Merlin and stood. Merlin felt bereft all too soon and yet he refrained from teasing Arthur back into his arms.

"I'll go get breakfast" said Arthur before striding out of the room with hurried steps making Merlin frown in frustration as he jammed his hand into his trousers, _yet again_.

As promised Arthur removed the loathsome mattress in Merlin's room and set it on fire. Merlin didn't see the point of protesting, it took way too much of energy to fight with Arthur and these days pregnancy gave him no leniency to do so.

Arthur after his temper had cooled and the irrational jealousy about Merlin had simmered to a low banked fire in the pits of his stomach was completely mortified with his behavior earlier to Merlin. Arthur had behaved like a man with no control of his senses and if anything his father had tried to instill in him had gotten through it was to learn that as a Leader one must never ever loose control of their emotions.

And Arthur had been so good at that too, he knew he was a bully sometimes before Merlin came along with his coltish gait and too wide smiles, but even then Arthur had possessed a level head in battle and in practice, but now when he sparred with Lancelot or Gwaine his anger and jealousy got the better of him all the time and he lashed out even knowing how loyal his men were to him.

And then there was that moment when he'd shamelessly rutted against Merlin that morning, his skin flushed at the memory of it and at Merlin's wanton moan. Arthur had gone straight back to his chambers to relieve his desires like a sixteen year old lad discovering the wonders of his body for the first time. It was scary to him that Merlin had such power over him.

* * *

The day dragged too much and Arthur had not shown his face since that morning so Merlin instead of wallowing in his frustration did some errands for Gaius stealthily slipping past the guards and into the forest to collect some much needed supplies despite Gaius having told him to stay put and read something if he was so bored.

In the forests he let his wild magic mix with that of the earth, and the trees and the animals and made himself a quiet mossy spot to lay on clearing away the ice that had covered the ground. He was asleep in minutes as his magic enveloped him in a bubble of heat and prevented the dreadful cold from giving him a frostbite.

When he woke up again it was dark and the pile of herbs he'd gathered for Gaius in a pouch was sitting crushed under elbows as he'd turned over in his sleep to get comfortable. His bladder was protesting even the slightest movement and Merlin groaned before he leaned with his hands on the ground to give himself enough leverage to stand up without falling off with all the extra weight of the baby.

He relieved himself and then picked up the herbs before setting on his way to Camelot, _Gaius was not going to be pleased about this, and he could only hope Arthur was in his 'let's avoid Merlin' phase now to have noticed his absence._ His magic had made sure that he would not die being out in such cold weather but now the cold was biting into his skin and he couldn't call up his magic to warm him up.

He wasn't even that far from his moseyed cozy spot when he heard hoofbeats and his eyes widened in alarm as he hid himself behind a tree. He was not that far away from Camelot but even so he couldn't just dismiss the idea of savage bandits now that Morgana was on the loose.

Merlin peeked from his spot behind the tree and found his vision being assaulted by red capes and chainmail glinting in the weak moonlight.

' _It was only Camelot's men'_ Merlin thought breathing a sigh of relief before he came out of his hiding spot to find that Arthur had accompanied his men on the patrol, strange as Merlin was sure Arthur had no patrol duties on this side of the forests tonight. He may not be his servant now but Merlin was still privy to Arthur's schedule, no temporary replacement could ever hide Arthur's various duties from him.

Merlin had not thought to conceal his arrival and had not really masked all the noise of snow crunching under his feet. Arthur turned to face him and for a second his eyes roved all over Merlin's person making sure, making sure everything was alright with him before he became furious.

Gwaine, Leon and Percival were right behind Arthur and Gwaine gave him a sympathetic look before Arthur erupted.

"MERLIN!"

Arthur's shout had enough temperament in it to make Merlin shrink back in his spot.

Arthur swiftly came to him, pulled Merlin's wrist into his in a tight grip and dragged him away in a very undignified manner.

"Arthur! Let go of me…"

"Shut up Merlin."

"Arthur!"

Before he could so much as gather his senses back to protest and shake Arthur's arm off of him, Arthur released his hands, drew out a long woolen cloak from his saddle bag and draped it all over Merlin. Arthur's hands were running all over him then checking him right down to his fingers, with no room left for any sort of protest he barked "We will discuss you're imprudence when we're back safely in the castle, now get on."

Merlin looked daggers at Arthur trying to protest anyways but Arthur's ire was not to be goaded with as Arthur threw him a withering glare and Merlin mounted the horse, not really wanting to tempt Arthur into one of his legendary temper tantrums at that time of the night in such a horribly cold weather. It also helped that the thick woolen cloak that was covering him offered warmth that he did not want to get out of if he could help it.

Arthur rode a little slowly than was normal for him and Merlin felt the heat radiate off of Arthur as he sat with his back pressed to Arthur's front. The movements of the horse just felt sensuous as it made him rub against Arthur's chest and he was aroused instantly and embarrassed about it, so much so that he sat impossibly still against Arthur's equally tense posture.

Finally after what seemed like a lifetime to Merlin they stopped at the courtyard and Merlin was not given a chance to climb down like a normal person and instead Arthur lifted him down and set him on his feet like he was some noble Lord's daughter.

Merlin tried to walk away quickly but both his arousal and his belly were making it impossible and Arthur's fingers entwined with his as Arthur hissed "Not so soon Merlin" in his ear before he was dragged once again scowling back to Arthur's chambers.

Merlin drew the cloak tighter around his person as it was the only thing that was preventing Arthur from seeing what a depraved little bastard he was being.

There was a merry fire burning in Arthur's chambers and it bestowed an ethereal glow to Arthur's frame as he stood leaning against the fireplace with his hands.

Merlin made himself comfortable by sitting on the dining chair, or as comfortable as he could get these days which wasn't much really.

A maid knocked on the door before bringing in a plate filled with food enough for the both of them and Arthur sent her away curtly before he turned back to Merlin who was still clad in the woolen coat.

"Are you still cold?" asked Arthur frowning. Arthur himself had not gotten rid of his chainmail yet but even the metal's cold was thawing as he stood close to the fire for so long, he should have bundled Merlin up into another coat and thrown him next to the fire instead thought Arthur. Instead he'd been too busy trying to control his rage.

Merlin fiddled with the sleeves of his thick cloak, "No, not really."

"Liar! I bet you're still shivering inside that thing, get it off it would have gotten wet while we were riding."

Merlin frowned and hunched himself further, his arousal had faded a little but it was nowhere near gone that Arthur wouldn't be able to see and tell.

"No, I rather like it."

"You can keep it, if you want."

Merlin nodded, anything to keep his dignity intact, "I will"

"Eat Merlin; I've forgotten you need another person to think of hassles such as feeding yourself."

"You never seemed to mind me not feeding myself when I was thinner than I am now…."

"You were not carrying my babe then Merlin." Arthur looked solemn in the firelight and his jaw was tight with the tension every line of his body betrayed, that he was trying so hard to control himself from lashing out.

Merlin took a piece of the sweet bun and bit into it as Arthur watched avidly until he finished eating it.

"I'm not made of glass Arthur" Merlin said softly meeting Arthur's eyes.

Arthur turned away from him then and looked at something on the wall closing his eyes and sighing, "You live to torment me Merlin."

"Well I'm sorry I'm being such an inconvenience" said Merlin cattily, he had had enough of Arthur treating him like he was a poor damsel, he was the most powerful sorcerer in the land and he could damn well handle himself.

"You enjoy worrying me? Worrying Gaius? You were out there all alone and you didn't tell anyone where you were going!"

"I am a warlock; I can take care of myself."

"You're not invincible, you fool! And what of the babe? Do you care so little about it that you can't even be bothered to feed yourself properly or think of its safety?"

"Don't you dare Arthur, I care enough!"

"Really Merlin?" Arthur asked nasty and skeptic, "Because your actions don't really match your words, it makes me wonder…."

Arthur paused for a long moment and when he looked at Merlin there was a strange sadness in his eyes as he asked in a whisper "Do you not want it?"

Merlin was stunned, his eyes widened and he asked "WHAT? What even gave you that idea?"

"Oh I don't know Merlin, maybe its you're blatant disregard for your own safety or the babe's, your look of abject horror when you finally knew you were carrying my babe, and your always calling it 'my brat', I can't help thinking that maybe we're all forcing you to do this when you don't want to." Arthur's eyes were uncertain and full of needless regret when he spoke to Merlin.

Merlin paused as he ruminated on Arthur's words, sure he wasn't really thrilled with being pregnant but that didn't mean he didn't want his baby, everyday hearing its heart beat knowing there was a life, a tiny little bit of him growing in his belly made him so overwhelmed with joy, how could anyone think he didn't want his baby?

"I want my baby Arthur" Merlin said decidedly and looking straight into Arthur's eyes unwaveringly. "I may not like this situation of being pregnant but I want the baby."

Arthur looked distraught for another minute looking at Merlin gauging whether he was saying the truth, in the end he must have decided that Merlin was being truthful because he proclaimed "Well in that case I'm going to have to impose some ground rules Merlin, it's become clear to me now that I can't trust you to have enough wits about yourself to not go and get yourself into some pickle or the other."

Merlin looked distressed as Arthur smirked wickedly and said "Eat Merlin, you're going to need your strength."

 


End file.
